Forums

 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages 
Modern Alchemist?

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Fortean Times Message Board Forum Index -> Esoterica
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
FelixAntoniusOffline
Outsider.
Joined: 07 Aug 2001
Total posts: 1100
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 21-10-2011 18:38    Post subject: Modern Alchemist? Reply with quote

Man who tried to turn his faeces into gold is jailed.

A Northern Ireland man who tried to turn his own faeces into gold by putting it on an electric heater has been jailed for three months.

The bizarre experiment, carried out by Paul Moran, 30, caused around £3,000 worth of damage to his Housing Executive home in a block of flats at Derrin Park in Enniskillen in July.

Upon his release he will spend a further 12 months on licence.

Moran admitted arson and endangering the lives of others.

His Honour Judge McFarland told him: “Rather bizarrely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products.

“It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist’s dream, but wasn’t going to succeed.”

While outlining the circumstances of the case at Enniskillen Magistrates Court, prosecuting counsel Robin Steer, told those present that at 7.12pm on July 24 last year the Fire Brigade was called to Moran’s flat at Derrin Park in Cornagrade, Enniskillen.

A police officer who was at the scene overheard Moran tell someone he had put “fertiliser” on a heater.

Moran’s barrister, Des Fahy, agreed that the general circumstances of the case were bizarre. He said Moran was a man of considerable intellectual ability but there was a clear problem over the years relating to drug abuse.

The judge noted that Moran was now on anti-psychotic medication and agreed with the findings of a pre-sentence report, which said he did not pose “a significant risk of serious harm”.

Source: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/northern-ireland/man-who-tried-to-turn-his-faeces-into-gold-is-jailed-16066385.html#ixzz1bJrhe4dn
Back to top
View user's profile 
MythopoeikaOffline
Boring petty conservative
Joined: 18 Sep 2001
Total posts: 9999
Location: Not far from Bedford
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 21-10-2011 19:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

Remember: not all that glistens is gold!
Back to top
View user's profile 
Heckler20Offline
The Sockpuppet of
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Total posts: 4873
Location: In the Nostril of The Crawling Chaos
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 24-10-2011 11:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

As the father in the Jerk makes clear - 'This here is shit, this is Shinola'
Back to top
View user's profile 
Amy82Offline
Grey
Joined: 12 Oct 2011
Total posts: 5
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 15-11-2011 14:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh my god, I laughes so hard xD. I think this story is really funny. I wonder how he got the idea to try to make gold out of faences. I mean, many people sell us shit for money, but it's more the literal meaning which is important. Maybe he missed this point? Wink
This is really crazy.
Back to top
View user's profile 
FelixAntoniusOffline
Outsider.
Joined: 07 Aug 2001
Total posts: 1100
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 15-11-2011 20:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

Amy82 wrote:
Oh my god, I laughes so hard xD. I think this story is really funny. I wonder how he got the idea to try to make gold out of faences. I mean, many people sell us shit for money, but it's more the literal meaning which is important. Maybe he missed this point? Wink
This is really crazy.


I think crazy is the correct word, note the comment that: "Moran was a man of considerable intellectual ability but there was a clear problem over the years relating to drug abuse" & that "The judge noted that Moran was now on anti-psychotic medication". Sadly, words like: "crazy as a coot", spring to mind.
Back to top
View user's profile 
hauntedshorelineOffline
Grey
Joined: 17 Mar 2012
Total posts: 3
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 25-03-2012 02:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've actually written about the symbolic link between excrement and the Philosopher's Stone here:

http://thehauntedshoreline.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/rolling-the-ball/

'Symbolic' is obviously an important word here...
Back to top
View user's profile 
stunevilleOffline
Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2002
Total posts: 10440
Location: FTMB HQ
Age: 47
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 25-03-2012 07:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

Alchemists derived their First Matter (or white stone, or white earth) and red oil from urine. So maybe he was more slightly misguided than outright bonkers? Slightly OT, and IIRC the term Rosicrucian actually derives from an allusion to distillation, rather than roses and crosses (-crucian meaning "of a crucible".)
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail 
SpookdaddyOffline
Cuckoo
Joined: 24 May 2006
Total posts: 4219
Location: Midwich
Gender: Unknown
PostPosted: 25-03-2012 09:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

'Pure' is an old word for shite (although, I think it refers specifically to dog-shite).

Can't help wondering if this guy got a little misled by the phrase, 'pure gold'.
Back to top
View user's profile 
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Fortean Times Message Board Forum Index -> Esoterica All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group