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When things turned upside down
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escargot1Offline
Joined: 24 Aug 2001
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PostPosted: 30-07-2014 06:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bloody GREAT assertiveness there, Spud, and look what it got you: respect! Very Happy

I'm in a strong union and I've made it clear in my present job that if I'm asked to do something dodgy I'll be taking advice. Works a treat. Colleagues who aren't in unions get shafted.

I tell them 'Join the union!' but they don't listen. They think it's expensive.
Rolling Eyes
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Spudrick68Offline
Justified and Ancient
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PostPosted: 30-07-2014 11:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you Escargot. Smile
we get people who only join the Union if they are in trouble and then leave after the trouble is over. Is you are in it you should commit to it long term.
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ramonmercadoOffline
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PostPosted: 30-07-2014 11:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

escargot1 wrote:
Bloody GREAT assertiveness there, Spud, and look what it got you: respect! Very Happy

I'm in a strong union and I've made it clear in my present job that if I'm asked to do something dodgy I'll be taking advice. Works a treat. Colleagues who aren't in unions get shafted.

I tell them 'Join the union!' but they don't listen. They think it's expensive.
Rolling Eyes


They find out exactly how expensive it is when they realise they have no back up.
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Augusta333Offline
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PostPosted: 31-07-2014 10:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spudrick68 wrote:
It can be hard to be appropriately assertive, personally I find confrontation difficult. I have in the past been bullied at work by bosses and vowed when I took up my new job it would never happen again.

Not being allowed to go early one Hallowe'en after being assured that I could I left my boss a note (only because he wasn't there for me to speak to him). I told him that I had bent over backwards to be accomodating since I had started and that he has shown a lack of respect. In future I stated that I would only work my contracted hours as a result.

He called me for a word in private and told me my letter was childish. I told him that it was exactly what was written. "If you want to be awkward I can make things awkward for you" he said. I told him that he had signed up for Diversity and invited him to repeat the threat to his boss.

I finished by telling him that once i left this room I would treat him no differently that anyone else and as far as I was concerned it was done. Half an hour later he came over and apologised to me. He then added "you're not going to tell my boss are you?"

It may sound small to some people but it was a big moment for me.




It sounds a very BIG moment, round of applause from ME! well done you!!!
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XBergMannOffline
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PostPosted: 31-07-2014 13:01    Post subject: Reply with quote

In answer to the poster going on about urban dictionaries and plagiarism I might add that when I was 13 it was 1977 and concepts like urban dictionary, the internet, mobile phones and instant info were not known to me or anything else.

Anyway I am far too lazy to write any more on this topic.
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jimv1Offline
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PostPosted: 03-08-2014 21:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

XBergMann wrote:
In answer to the poster going on about urban dictionaries and plagiarism I might add that when I was 13 it was 1977 and concepts like urban dictionary, the internet, mobile phones and instant info were not known to me or anything else.

Anyway I am far too lazy to write any more on this topic.


Are you the guy doing the negativity experiments on facebook?
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FuzzyLordOffline
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PostPosted: 23-08-2014 22:06    Post subject: Shaken, not stirred Reply with quote

I'm now at the point where I'm glad I can still get away with calling myself middle-aged. My world has been forcibly inverted a few times. I guess the first one doesn't count, rejecting the Catholicism I was raised in came naturally. I never really bought in in the first place. I did what I was told to do, but didn't buy the cosmology. Also, seeing the vast gulf between the ideals espoused by the faithful and their actual behavior let me know that these people must be wrong, even if many of them mean me well.l

I got involved with a cult-like group in my mid '20's. (As with any classification, there are degrees. This group varied over time in it's cult-like dimension, and does not ask you to live outside the regular world.) Slowly realizing that, again, the message is in theory great, but again, the faithful are by and large hypocritical, rationalizing, ordinary oafs, got me to fade away with them, too. That's a bit tough, though, because Mrs. Lord is still committed to the cause. (Though she also hates the cultish aspect of the group think, she needs the group support. Tough bind to be in.)

I used to think that life might be leading somewhere grand, or at least good. Now it's just a slow erosion of ideals. I'm now just committed to being a decent person and trying to help, in specific tangible ways, those I'm actually in contact with. If there is no cosmic cause to support, we just have to support each other.

I think the universe contains a fortean / paranormal / spiritual dimension, but I think no mortal has successfully led another mortal to draw a bead on it. All the more so no group of mortals. The intelligence of a group seems to be the sum of IQ's of all members, divided by the number of members.

The world is a good place, but I never expected it to feel so desert-y on the inside.

Is this on topic? I can't quite tell. Rolling Eyes

Onward!
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rynner2Online
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PostPosted: 23-08-2014 22:31    Post subject: Re: Shaken, not stirred Reply with quote

FuzzyLord wrote:
The intelligence of a group seems to be the sum of IQ's of all members, divided by the number of members.

What we mathematicians call an Average IQ, then! Twisted Evil
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jimv1Offline
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PostPosted: 23-08-2014 23:14    Post subject: Re: Shaken, not stirred Reply with quote

FuzzyLord wrote:


I used to think that life might be leading somewhere grand, or at least good. Now it's just a slow erosion of ideals. I'm now just committed to being a decent person and trying to help, in specific tangible ways, those I'm actually in contact with. If there is no cosmic cause to support, we just have to support each other.

I think the universe contains a fortean / paranormal / spiritual dimension, but I think no mortal has successfully led another mortal to draw a bead on it. All the more so no group of mortals. The intelligence of a group seems to be the sum of IQ's of all members, divided by the number of members.

The world is a good place, but I never expected it to feel so desert-y on the inside.

Is this on topic? I can't quite tell. Rolling Eyes

Onward!



You are perfectly on topic.
I always think of any Church (or possibly cult) as a call centre where you have operators acting as an intermediary between you and your chosen deity. They're usually the ones scooping off the top.

To my mind... Acting on your own initiative and genuinely helping people is the most powerful statement you can make as a human being. There is stuff out there but let's face it. Fifty people on a hill pointing at a light doesn't make it a UFO. Twenty scared people in a dark cellar doesn't necessarily mean an orb is ghost.
Multiples do not ratify the vision.

Find your own way. That's my advice. When the world Zigs -Zag. And if you get hung at the end of it, at least you get hung for being yourself...not someone else or even worse - a follower of someone else.
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Stu73Offline
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PostPosted: 12-09-2014 10:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

A guy that I've known for 20 years plus has always poo-pooed my beliefs in all things Fortean. UFO's, ghosts, (some) conspiracies. All you guys know the drill.

Just recently, he had a strange experience in his new house (he's seen an apparition)

Now, I've lost a person who has spent many a late night arguing with me, but I've found someone who's mind is finally opening up to the more outre aspects of our world.

The only problem is that he now wants access to all my stuff. This means going up in the attic to retrieve my back issues of FT, Nexus Magazine and all the other stuff i've accumulated over the years!!

I've pointed him in the direction of this noble MB. May God have mercy on arseholes Laughing
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ramonmercadoOffline
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PostPosted: 12-09-2014 11:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stu73 wrote:
A guy that I've known for 20 years plus has always poo-pooed my beliefs in all things Fortean. UFO's, ghosts, (some) conspiracies. All you guys know the drill.

Just recently, he had a strange experience in his new house (he's seen an apparition)

Now, I've lost a person who has spent many a late night arguing with me, but I've found someone who's mind is finally opening up to the more outre aspects of our world.

The only problem is that he now wants access to all my stuff. This means going up in the attic to retrieve my back issues of FT, Nexus Magazine and all the other stuff i've accumulated over the years!!

I've pointed him in the direction of this noble MB. May God have mercy on arseholes Laughing


A Doubting Thomas converted!

Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe.
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Stu73Offline
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PostPosted: 12-09-2014 11:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
A Doubting Thomas converted!

Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe.


I agree entirely, but it's not YOU who has to go up in to the attic. Shocked

He started off by trying to put it down to hallucination of some kind, but then his wife saw it too (he hadn't told her as he knew she'd shred him for it)

Come to think of it, i did too. Payback for all those arguments lol
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ramonmercadoOffline
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PostPosted: 12-09-2014 12:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stu73 wrote:
Quote:
A Doubting Thomas converted!

Happy are those who have not seen and yet believe.


I agree entirely, but it's not YOU who has to go up in to the attic. Shocked

He started off by trying to put it down to hallucination of some kind, but then his wife saw it too (he hadn't told her as he knew she'd shred him for it)

Come to think of it, i did too. Payback for all those arguments lol


Is there a monster or a mad aunt/uncle in the attic?
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Stu73Offline
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PostPosted: 12-09-2014 15:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Is there a monster or a mad aunt/uncle in the attic?


Nah, just a random victim or 3, but they don't struggle much these days. Twisted Evil
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AngelAliceOffline
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PostPosted: 25-09-2014 22:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cochise wrote:
I had really nice parents. But unfortunately I was often hospitalised because of health problems.

One moment I do remember as a revelation was when my father used to visit me in hospital. Usually I was cheerful and he wouldn't say much and I didn't need him to, I was just happy to see him.

On one particular occasion I was very down and he really didn't say anything for the whole hour. After he left I initially was very upset and felt he didn't care, he was just visiting because he 'had to' - I was about 11 and in an adult ward because the children's unit didn't deal with my problem and very lonely. Then I suddenly realised - he didn't know what to say. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was that he simply didn't know how to help. That's when I realised that adults are fallible. Up until then I'd assumed any mistake was mine.


We can sometimes be quite grown up before we recognise our parents' fallibility, and until we do we can unconsciously assume responsibility for all their failings. I was about 40 before I realised I couldn't be responsible both for my parents' conduct toward me any more than my children are responsible for my conduct toward them. It was an immensely liberating moment even though it took a while to kick in.
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