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Posted: 30-09-2001 21:21 Post subject: Nasty things found in food & drink

Commerce City? Ora-Potency Fruit Punch? This just has to be
a wind-up. Things to do in Denver when it's Thursday?

Man Finds Human Penis
In Bottle Of Fruit Punch
By Tillie Fong
News Staff Writer
Inside Denver.com
9-30-1

COMMERCE CITY - Police say a man found a penis Thursday in a bottled drink he purchased at a grocery store. "For us, it's a mystery," said Elaine Rowe, spokeswoman for Commerce City police. "We don't know if there is a crime involved. This could be a fraud, mutilation or attempted homicide." Thursday morning, Juan Sanchez-Marchez, 41, a machine operator at Foothills Mail and Supply, was at work, taking his usual sips from a 20-ounce bottle of Ora Potency Fruit Punch. After he had downed about two-thirds of the bottle, he found something in the opaque red drink. He called over his 16-year-old son, Manuel, who also works at the shop. His boss told him that it looked like a penis and to report it to the police. A pathologist with the Adams County coroner's office determined it was a 3-inch segment of human penis. It was cleanly cut at the base. Authorities do not know whether the body part came from an adult or juvenile, or whether it had been taken from a cadaver or a living person. A DNA test will be conducted on the penis, in case it may be related to an ongoing Adams County investigation where various body parts, including a head and part of a leg, have been found but not identified. The Ora Potency Fruit Punch comes in a clear glass bottle with a label. Sanchez-Marchez said the top was intact when he opened it. "It's a very hard top to get off," he said. Police do not believe that Sanchez-Marchez put the penis in the bottle. "He's a very credible witness," Rowe said. The drink was purchased Wednesday from the King Soopers at 6040 E. 65th Ave. Sanchez-Marchez bought six bottles. Nothing was found in the others. The product has been taken off the shelves at the store and from other King Soopers in the metro area. A King Soopers spokesperson could not be reached for comment late Friday. Rowe said the drink was dated at least a year ago and was bottled at a plant in Pittsburgh. "They said there was no way it could have occurred there," she said. "It's a mystery where it came from and how it got into this bottle."

Posted: 30-09-2001 21:38 Post subject: It's not mine!

Hang on a minute! Nope, it's definitely still there. Could be bigger though, but we can all dream, eh? Wink

Posted: 30-09-2001 22:11 Post subject:

Initially sounds like the stuff of urban legends, akin to the Mouse in a Coke bottle. But it sounds as if they have the evidence, which rather points to a hate campaign (rather obviously against the donor, if alive at the time - possibly there's a 'Mrs Bobbit' working at the bottling plant?), probably against the manufacturer.

But isn't it always the way, huh? Drinking two-thirds before noticing it? Glad that my worst contaminant experience was a corn plaster in the seasoning of a packet of pub Pork Scratchings some years ago - and that was gross enough, believe me (and an effective cure).

I guess, if the drink had been tequila, it could have been a different story...indeed, it may not even have come to light at all.

Dead / drunk

Posted: 30-09-2001 22:25 Post subject:

Come on, Sean, if you can eat Pork Scratchings, a lil' old
corn plaster ain't gonna hurt you none.

I heard they took the worms out of the tequila because they
were hallucinogenic, allegedly, being bred in the agave plant.

Dim memories stir of Malcolm Lowry type binges under volcanoes
in Wales . . .

Oh dear, I really fancy a tequila now, worm or no-worm. :p

Posted: 30-09-2001 23:17 Post subject:

They did seem to be attractive after a drinkie or two - as almost anything edible is, don't you think?
Needless to say, I eat them no longer. Don't touch pork at all now after reading about trichinosis. Anyone who likes their bacon should avoid reading about that!

Posted: 30-09-2001 23:19 Post subject:

Posted: 30-09-2001 23:24 Post subject: Apologies in advance...

Hmmm... supping dick. I've heard it's popular in some parts of America.

Question is, though, willy sue, and if so, how schlong is he going to have to wait for a payout? If the courts decide it's not a boner-fide story, is he going to be proper shafted? If I were him, I'd take time out to get organised and consider my options over a stiff drink, etc. etc.

Posted: 30-09-2001 23:29 Post subject:

In any way inspired by your new avatar, Mr Bingo?

No, actually. I like it. Really.

Very Happy

Posted: 01-10-2001 00:29 Post subject:

Now I feel really sick! Pork Scratchings, ugh!! Hermes, how did you tell the difference between the corn plaster and the atchngs? Ive neve touched those things since a friend and I were celebrating her divorceand I got locked in the ladies and had to be rescued by the landlord with a ladder (to be honest, the pork scratchings had nothing to do with that, it was probably the vast quantities of alcohol I had consumed . . .)

Carole

Posted: 01-10-2001 00:37 Post subject:

Well Carole, it was easy. I'd eaten all the scratchings, and it was the last thing in the bag, a perfect ring encrusted with seasoning!

Posted: 01-10-2001 00:49 Post subject:

Are you sure it was a corn-plaster?

There are some very Fortean rabbis out there. Dead / drunk

Posted: 01-10-2001 00:53 Post subject:

Tilly Fong! If I were called that I'd change my name before I wen't into journalism. The mind boggles. This smells of an Urban Legend to me but they usually don't get such a long write-up.

Cujo

Posted: 01-10-2001 01:02 Post subject:

Posted: 01-10-2001 01:09 Post subject:

In follow-up, I would be interested to hear what other members have - in the way of the unthinkable - nearly eaten, actually eaten, suspected they've eaten?

e.g. I worked with a guy who was sitting in a restaurant when the police burst in, arresting the owners, and took away Alsatian carcases in evidence. Sounds like an UL but I know him well. I asked him if he stayed to finish his curry. "No," he said. "But we didn't pay for it." Should think not.*

So, please, open the doors to those suppressed memories...

PS I can just see the comments coming....

The police had a good lead.
The owners were collared.
And so on....
roll eyes (sarcastic)

Posted: 02-10-2001 00:24 Post subject:

how did it get in through the neck of a bottle i know i couldnt
casio