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From the Daily Southtown, 1st May, 2002:

Strange cargo found in forest

Stumped officials try to find out who dropped off 55 gallons of goat semen in Cook County preserve

Wednesday, May 1, 2002

By Jennifer Martikean
Staff writer
It wasn't nearly as much fun as a barrel full of monkeys, but the barrel firefighters found was just as weird.
It was full of goat semen.
Or maybe it was pig semen.
"We're still in disbelief," said a firefighter who did not want to be identified. "I have never heard of anything like this ever happening. We have no idea who did this."
The mysterious barrel was discovered Monday night by a passerby at the Arie Crown Woods near Countryside, Cook County Forest Preserve Lt. Michael Albrecht said.
When the police came out to take a look, they found a white, 55-gallon container with a black plug on top and hazardous materials markings on the outside.
They called in the hazardous materials team from Pleasantview Fire Protection District.
"The firefighters came, they saw the barrel, and the cleared out the area," Albrecht said.
Firefighters spent some time trying to figure out what kind of substance they were dealing with. All they knew was the barrel had some liquid in it.
After a careful inspection, firefighters found a phone number on one of the stickers. They radioed the number to dispatchers, who traced it to an Iowa company called Swine Genetics.
The company ships pig and boar semen in canisters, which in turn are placed in large drums filled with liquid nitrogen. The liquid nitrogen keeps the semen at the optimal temperature so it can be shipped long distances and used for artificial insemination.
No one has any idea how the semen ended up at the forest preserve.
"We get calls about illegal dumping all the time, but never anything like this," Albrecht said.
The police department "properly disposed" of the semen, but declined to say how.
There was some conflicting information about what kind of semen was in the canister. Albrecht said police believe it was goat semen, but Swine Genetics only deals in pig semen. A worker at the company said the barrels are expensive, costing as much as $1,100, and they are often reused by farmers to ship other types of semen.
Pleasantview firefighters were a little embarrassed about the big fuss. They were still laughing about it Tuesday and could hardly comment.
"It is just so bizarre that that would be out there," a firefighter said. "We've had all kinds of guesses at the station all day. But I'm not going to tell you what they were."
A worker at Swine Genetics said the company hasn't had any reports of missing semen, and police said no one has reported anything like it missing.
The company ships internationally out of O'Hare International Airport, so it is possible one of the barrels could have come from the airport, he said.'
Jennifer Martikean may be reached at jmartikean@dailysouthtown.com or (708) 633- 5962.'http://www.dailysouthtown.com/southtown/dsindex/01-ds5.htm

Posted: 03-05-2002 12:31 Post subject:

Posted: 03-05-2002 12:39 Post subject:

Hmm, so that's why it has taken three weeks now. Delivery services just aren't what they used to be. I'm off to write an angry letter to the manager Very Happy

Posted: 03-05-2002 13:49 Post subject:

Would anyone like to hazard a guess exactly how many hours and how many goats it would take to produce 55 gallons of goat semen?

I've had some really bad summer jobs in my time, but nothing that has ever come close to that.

Posted: 03-05-2002 14:04 Post subject:

Doesn't it involve electrodes and a bucket?

8¬)

Posted: 03-05-2002 14:11 Post subject:

Do we get a prize for it? Sort of like "Guess how many pretzels are in this jar and win a years supply."

Posted: 03-05-2002 14:13 Post subject:

Well, if you really want a years supply of goats semen, I guess I could make a few calls.

Posted: 03-05-2002 17:19 Post subject:

Chatsubo, are you telling us you have connections to the black market on goat semen? Blah

Posted: 03-05-2002 17:21 Post subject:

I found it funny that they were coy about the way they disposed of it.

Get the feeling someone just won the grossest bet in the world? Or there again, maybe some one lost a bet....

8¬)

Posted: 04-05-2002 22:05 Post subject:

At last, concrete proof of the Night Hags! I had hoped for
something less Industrial, but I guess nothing is what it
used to be! Can I claim mine back? :p

Posted: 04-05-2002 22:55 Post subject:

Ho Ho Ho!

I posted this story on the "Good Laugh" thread yesterday, but somehow it seems to have got lost in the post..

(Actually, I'm starting to get paranoid about the posts I make that disappear - fuel for another comspiracy theory here, methinks.)

Posted: 05-05-2002 11:59 Post subject:

"The police department "properly disposed" of the semen, but declined to say how. "

That quote makes the article XD

Posted: 07-09-2002 17:31 Post subject: Human brain found in middle of road

Two Norwegian teenagers found a human brain in the middle of the road as they walked home from a night at the pub.

Kristin Grue and Ruben Steinung stumbled across a box in a residential street in Oslo in the early hours of the morning.

The 18-year-olds opened the box and found it contained a human brain inside a plastic bag.

Ruben said: "We realised immediately what it was. It gave me a real fright."

They rang the number of Ullevaal Hospital, which was printed on the box, and the hospital sent someone to collect it.

A spokesperson from the hospital said some keys had disappeared recently and, since then, computers and other electronic material had vanished.

But it was the first time the hospital had experienced this kind of theft. It's thought the thieves may have thrown the box away when they saw what it contained.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_665408.html?menu=news.quirkies

Posted: 07-09-2002 17:54 Post subject:

I can just see the two burglar chappies' faces when they opened the box. Har har.

Posted: 07-09-2002 18:58 Post subject:

I wish my ex had found that box about 10 years ago.
Might have come in useful.