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Posted: 30-07-2010 09:48 Post subject:

A long, unusual and moving story:

Message in a bottle to a lost son found on a Kent beach led to a seven-year journey to trace the mother who wrote it
By Karen Liebreich
Last updated at 8:58 AM on 30th July 2010

A letter in a bottle is a thing of dreams, of pure romance. But one day, in spring 2002, a bright blue bottle in the shape of a teardrop washed up on a beach on the Isle of Sheppey. And a friend of mine found it.

It was a special edition Evian glass water bottle and inside it was a letter, tied with a pale blue ribbon.
When my friend got home, she unpicked the seal and unrolled the letter, whereupon two curls of hair — one light brown, one dark brown — fell onto the table.
The message, however, was in French, which she does not understand. And so she sent it to me.
Nothing could have prepared me for quite how moving it was. I am a fluent French speaker and, within a few lines, I was in tears. Indeed, as I unrolled it, I would never have guessed that I’d spend the next seven years searching for its author.

etc...

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1298843/Message-bottle-A-heart-breaking-tribute-lost-son-Kent-beach.html#ixzz0v9aK5p3B

Posted: 30-07-2010 14:48 Post subject:

Sorry, can't speak. Choking on syrup. Laughing

Posted: 30-07-2010 20:32 Post subject:

Posted: 30-07-2010 20:41 Post subject:

Posted: 30-07-2010 21:08 Post subject:

If anyone tried to exploit my grief as this writer has, you'd see how hard I can be. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: 30-07-2010 21:49 Post subject:

deleted.

Posted: 30-07-2010 21:52 Post subject:

OK, none of us has a monopoly on grief. Sad

But it's a bit harsh to accuse the writer of exploiting the mother's grief.
She wrote her book without knowing who the mother was (that was still a mystery at the time). And, eventually, when she did meet the mother, it was on the mother's conditions. (Indeed, we still don't know who the mother is, or where she lives.) And the mother could have refused to make any contact at all.

It seems to me that the mother did find a way of dealing with her grief, and has now moved on in her life.

(I thought I had too, but recent events have destroyed that hope... but that's going way OT.)

Posted: 30-07-2010 22:02 Post subject:

Posted: 31-07-2010 09:42 Post subject:

True. I'm suspicious.

Besides which, apart from the death itself, about which we're not told much, it sounds a boring story. The extract I read is written in a turgid style that I'd personally chuck out of the bath after the first chapter. Laughing

If the author is interested in how bereaved people privately commemorate deaths, she could have used the French message as an inspiration, rather than tracking the poor mother down like a dog. Seems inartistic to me.

Posted: 31-07-2010 09:55 Post subject:

Posted: 31-07-2010 10:25 Post subject:

i get the feeling that the mother knew she'd be found sooner or later and wanted to have some control over her part in the end product!

The interesting subtext to this story is the difference between mourning and grieving. One is broadly public, one mainly private, and you can do one without the other.

A very private and personal part of grief is the process of accepting the loss and moving on. That is why there comes a point when acknowledgement of a stranger's bereavement becomes more formal.

After that, anything more personal is crass and intrusive. THAT'S why this story is exploitative.

Posted: 06-08-2010 10:38 Post subject:

Mother's message in a bottle to son killed in Afghanistan found by oil spill clean-up workers
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 9:41 AM on 6th August 2010

A message in a bottle written by the mother of a British soldier killed in Afghanistan has been found by workers cleaning up the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

Sarah Adams, 43, was on holiday in Barbados when she wrote the loving message about her son Private James Prosser, 21, who was killed by a roadside bomb.

She threw it into the sea and after floating 1,300 miles it was fished out of the water by workers cleaning up the oil leak from the BP pipeline in the Gulf of Mexico.
The workers were so moved by Mrs Adams' message they wrote to her to pay their own tribute to her son.

Mrs Adams said: 'I put the message in a bottle of Sambuca - because that was James's favourite drink.
'The message was all about James, how much we loved him and how much we miss him.
'I wanted to make everyone aware that we're responsible for the world we live in and not to forget the soldiers who have given up their lives.
'It was an open letter to anyone who found it - but I never thought it would be seen again.
'I'm so delighted it has been found by such caring people and that James has touched their lives as well.'

Mrs Adams tossed the bottle from a boat in the Caribbean on January 5 - and it turned up at Horn Island off the coast of Louisana.
In their letter to Mrs Adams, the workers said: 'Words cannot express our heartfelt sympathy to your family over the loss of James.
'Your letters describe a remarkable young man who was very loved by his family and friends.
'We extend our gratitude to James for the service he did in Afghanistan and we recognise the courage, the strength and bravery it requires to serve in the Armed Forces.
'You are in our thoughts as we all continue to pray for the safe return of our soldiers worldwide.
'As we are certain he did before his death, James has continued to touch the lives of many people in a positive way.
'Finding that bottle is something we will never forget.'

The workers from Progressive Pipeline Management also sent Mrs Adams a signed T-shirt from the crew and a photograph of them with the bottle.

James of the 2nd battalion Royal Welsh was was killed while driving his Warrior vehicle during a patrol in Helmand Province in September last year.

His family went to Barbados on holiday because they could not face a traditional Christmas at home without James.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1300776/Mothers-message-bottle-son-killed-Afghanistan-picked-oil-spill-clean-workers.html#ixzz0vohgjhsI

Posted: 10-08-2010 18:36 Post subject:

That french bottle. Something about it doesnt ring true

and that bottle depicted has never been in the sea.

And that last story, something I cant put my finger on, I cant see.

It seems a bit harsh to go all the way to Barbados because you cant face a xmas at home.

(and Xmas when you are bereaved is grim...anywhere)

Posted: 10-08-2010 19:54 Post subject:

True. However, it does happen. Kirsty MacColl was killed in an accident during a holiday in Mexico, where she'd taken her children shortly before xmas to take their minds off the accidental death of a friend.

Personally, I think spending xmas abroad after a bereavement sounds a good idea, and I would have done it myself a few years ago if I'd been up to arranging it.

Posted: 10-08-2010 23:58 Post subject:

Hey there Escargot1 - been trying to get hold of you but you don't seem to be checking your PMs.

Could you email me at david_sutton@dennis.co.uk - kind of urgently?

Cheers,

DS