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amarok2005Offline
Great Old One
Joined: 26 Aug 2005
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PostPosted: 10-04-2010 00:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

But there was this horrified scream, like a little girl --

Oh, never mind.
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cheeky381Offline
waxer of lyricals
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: 10-04-2010 21:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spookdaddy wrote

Quote:
I had a similar experience (minus canid) in a hotel not too long ago.


I had the same experience in a hotel in London called The Grange at Christmas. I checked in at 7pm and the curtains were shut; I was late getting to a Christmas party so I showered, changed and left.
Next morning, hungover, makeup still plastered over my face I flung the curtains open and caught the nets with them at the same time.
Took me a good 5-10 seconds to realise I was on the 2nd floor gazing down at the atrium and check-in desk. And I was naked....
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escargot1Offline
Joined: 24 Aug 2001
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Location: Farkham Hall
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PostPosted: 11-04-2010 00:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

Look on the bright side - nobody'd notice your messed-up mascara. Wink
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SpookdaddyOffline
Cuckoo
Joined: 24 May 2006
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Location: Midwich
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 13:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

As I've been in far away countries of which we know little for a while...(yes - I've been away!!! - no one rang, no one called - I could have been lying under a pile of old newspapers being nibbled by cats for all you lot cared...I don't even like cats.)

As I've been away for a while I thought I'd start with a bit of a bang -

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/splinterspook/photo0018.jpg

What on earth was going through their minds?
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Heckler20Offline
The Sockpuppet of
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Total posts: 4001
Location: In the Nostril of The Crawling Chaos
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 13:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

Presumably they only receive meat deliveries at the back door (ahem).
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Quake42Offline
Warrior Princess
Joined: 25 Feb 2004
Total posts: 5603
Location: Over Silbury Hill, through the Solar field
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 14:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
As I've been in far away countries of which we know little for a while...(yes - I've been away!!! - no one rang, no one called - I could have been lying under a pile of old newspapers being nibbled by cats for all you lot cared...I don't even like cats.)


Wrong! Some of us noticed your absence... check out the MIA (or whatever it is called) thread under website issues...
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SpookdaddyOffline
Cuckoo
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Location: Midwich
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 14:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heckler20 wrote:
Presumably they only receive meat deliveries at the back door (ahem).


Don't. Just...don't.

For someone as chronically addicted to double entendres - and general smut - as myself the enormous overload of associations that something like this is likely to cause could result in whiplash, temporary blindness and, in some cases, permanent death.
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SpookdaddyOffline
Cuckoo
Joined: 24 May 2006
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Location: Midwich
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 14:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quake42 wrote:
Wrong! Some of us noticed your absence... check out the MIA (or whatever it is called) thread under website issues...


Mwah...mwah.
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Heckler20Offline
The Sockpuppet of
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Total posts: 4001
Location: In the Nostril of The Crawling Chaos
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 14:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

I must admit I was already reduced to a crossed eyed gibbering entendre apoplexy by the possibilities. Very Happy
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Black River FallsOffline
I wear a fez now.
Joined: 03 Aug 2003
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Location: The Attic of Blinky Lights
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 15:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing
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SpookdaddyOffline
Cuckoo
Joined: 24 May 2006
Total posts: 3932
Location: Midwich
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 16:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

Inappropriately - or simply bizarrely - named food emporia probably deserve a thread of their own.

I have this image of a man clinging to the porcelain like a sailor sitting on a lifebelt in the middle of the Battle of Jutland, a terrified expression on his face, a howl of pain gathering somewhere deep inside him, and wondering how much it'll cost to replaster the bathroom ceiling, as he realises one morning the terrible meaning behind the name 'Chicken Bazooka'.*

And one can only assume that the connotations which the words 'chicken' and 'cottage' carry in gay slang were a world away from the image that someone was actually trying to convey when they named the nations favourite Halal fast-food chain - which was obviously a hen sitting in a bungalow with a big grin on it's face while it waited to be strung up and throat-slit.

*(Ranelagh Place, Liverpool.)
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escargot1Offline
Joined: 24 Aug 2001
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 16:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spookdaddy wrote:
someone as chronically addicted to double entendres - and general smut - as myself


Welcome back. Now get over to the limerick thread. We need you! Laughing
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Black River FallsOffline
I wear a fez now.
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Total posts: 7407
Location: The Attic of Blinky Lights
Age: 45
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PostPosted: 03-12-2010 17:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ye Olde Naked Man Cafe, I think in Dent, always vexed me as to why someone would call such a place that.

Also The Hairy Fig in York, which sounds like it should be a euphemism for something, if it isn;t already.
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stunevilleOffline
Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2002
Total posts: 8587
Location: FTMB HQ
Age: 47
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PostPosted: 04-12-2010 06:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spookdaddy wrote:
For someone as chronically addicted to double entendres - and general smut - as myself the enormous overload of associations that something like this is likely to cause could result in whiplash, temporary blindness and, in some cases, permanent death.

A fellow sufferer!

My fave was the horticultural society based in a village just south of Weston Super Mare, called Uphill.

The Uphill Gardeners Club changed its name only relatively recently.
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Heckler20Offline
The Sockpuppet of
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
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Location: In the Nostril of The Crawling Chaos
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PostPosted: 06-12-2010 11:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whilst in Argos yesterday, I had to wipe away tears of laughter as I collected my purchase (much to the bemusement of the young lady).

Someone had purchased a WWE toy Wrestling set for their child which promised 'Realistic Action Figure Ring Action' and even more amusingly 'Authentic RAW Ring'.

Laughing
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