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cheeky381Offline
waxer of lyricals
Joined: 04 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: 06-12-2010 20:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

Spookdaddy wrote;
Quote:
For someone as chronically addicted to double entendres - and general smut - as myself


This morning a client was saying his new office was behind the back entrance of the In And Out Club in the St James area and that he was very excited because a lot of the older gents like to take their mistresses 'round the back as it was more discrete...

Queue much sniggering and fnaar, fnaar-ing! Laughing
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SpookdaddyOffline
Cuckoo
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PostPosted: 18-04-2011 16:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/splinterspook/Photo0008.jpg

Possibly others are already familiar with this rather attractive sounding addition to the ever expanding world of male grooming. I wasn't - and as I was up the Edgware Road (London) when I spotted it I kind of assumed that it was a product of the Arab world which had maybe lost a little in translation. (For those unfamiliar: Edgware Road, very Middle-East/Arab - fantastic food, lovely aromatic tobacco, cracking hookahs, shops selling decor that could make yer gums bleed just looking at it.)

Anyway, I was wrong - it's German. And their headquarters are on a road called Klapp-Allee.

I am ridiculously pleased that somewhere in the world there is a street called Klapp-Allee.
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gncxxOffline
King-Size Canary
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PostPosted: 18-04-2011 16:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

With a name like that it deserves a round of applause! Er, or something else.
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SpookdaddyOffline
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PostPosted: 07-01-2012 19:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was reminded of the following when I bumped into an old work colleague over the Christmas period.

Many years ago we worked with an incredibly accident prone woman - so accident prone in fact that you had to spend time around her to realise that the things that happened really did happen and were not simply part of some bizarre fantasy life. She once crashed into a hearse (on it's way back from a delivery, thankfully) and claimed to have got her head stuck in a catflap (which would have been entirely believable to anyone who knew her). These are just two examples of her lifelong struggle with the basic mechanics of life - there are many, many more.

Anyway, the following is a rough rendition of a telephone conversation between herself and our boss at the time.

She: Sorry, I'm going to be quite late this morning.

Boss: Okay, (sighs) what's the problem this time.

She: Well, the police have been round and apparently there's a dead Chinese accountant on the pavement.

Boss: ... Shocked...?

She: Yes. And they aren't letting anyone on the estate out of their houses until they've found his head!


That has got to be in anyone's top ten late for work excuses of all time - although I suppose it doesn't lend itself to repeated use.
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cherrybombOffline
Skating the thin crust
Joined: 26 Aug 2009
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PostPosted: 11-01-2012 12:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

As I've discussed before on another thread, I seem to attract all the nutters.
While living in Bath as a student I was out on a walk one night with a friend, when a young man ran up to us with a large box containing offal. He didn't say anything to us and once we had glanced into this box of meat he ran off again. No one believed us when we got back to my house. The odd people of the world (maybe I'm one of them Shocked ) always pick me to annoy!

*BTW, I really hope it was just some offal he got from a butcher and nothing more...sinister Twisted Evil *
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SpookdaddyOffline
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PostPosted: 21-02-2012 20:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Little piles of white powder! thread reminded me of something that happened when I was a baby.

I was born in the late 60's on a remote farm in the Peak District, just to the north of Dove Dale. When I was still in a pram we had a genuine lunatic as a neighbour - genuine because, come the full moon, she would don a dress made of stitched together feed sacks and pour a line of salt across all the gateways leading onto our property. She would also loudly curse my mum for being a 'gypsy witch' and throw rocks at my pram. Apparently, one full-moon my dad found that the salt completely surrounded the house in a single unbroken line - god knows where she got it all from.

Eventually the woman was arrested and carted off (nothing to do with us - my dad always thought it was a bit of a laugh). When they entered the house they found her husband chained to a seat by the kitchen table - the truly bizarre thing being that he was the local postman, and, according to my dad, he'd never missed a days work in his life; he could have done a runner at any time.

Those were the days - it's all incomers now.
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MythopoeikaOffline
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PostPosted: 21-02-2012 20:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

Barking. Laughing
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Black River FallsOffline
I wear a fez now.
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 09:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Er, or something else.


Antibiotics?
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cherrybombOffline
Skating the thin crust
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 10:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a great story, Spookdaddy!

Did you ever find out why he was chained up?
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Ronson8Offline
Things can only get better.
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 12:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorting the chain mail ?
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SpookdaddyOffline
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 12:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

cherrybomb wrote:
What a great story, Spookdaddy!

Did you ever find out why he was chained up?


The impression I always got (I'll check with my parents) was that the man was a passive victim who didn't actually resist what was being done to him - I also get the impression that the chaining up was more symbolic than practical, but that the man just kind of went along with it: a case of anything for a quiet life, in extremis - or possibly, ad absurdum.

I'm assuming it was one of those relationships where the effects of an individual's mental illness become so overbearing that it takes over the life of the partner (I'm no psychiatrist - so this might be bullshit) to the point where they no longer resist what is being done to them - in a similar way, possibly, to those in abusive relationships of the more common variety who tolerate behaviour that most of the rest of us think we never would.
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SpookdaddyOffline
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 16:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just found this on my phone - I'd forgotten about it:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/splinterspook/Photo0020-1-1.jpg

I'm not sure, but I suspect that the Germans are trying to make up for historical accusations that they lack a sense of humour: First Klapp-Allee, now a Spaf Academy - I dread to think what name the street it's headquarter's are on goes by. Shocked

Edit: It may be that the word in question (meaning, erm...gentleman's relish and/or the act of distributing same) is not as widely used as I might think - in which case, carry on with whatever it was you were doing.
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Black River FallsOffline
I wear a fez now.
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 18:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have not heard that terminology before... well it is always nice to learn a new word.
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 18:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure that from now on it'll always be on the tip of your tongue.
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Timble2Offline
Imaginary person
Joined: 09 Feb 2003
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PostPosted: 22-02-2012 19:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

Having spent a considerable chunk of the last three years writing stuff on Stroke Prevention in Atrial Fibrillation it did wonder what the SPAF business was about.......

No idea there was a meaning that involved rudeness.

The SPAF Academy is part of Boehringer Ingelheim's MedEd programme, that's meant to position Paradaxa (dabigatran etexilate) for various thromboembolic disorders.
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