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Toilet Talk
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MythopoeikaOffline
Joined: 18 Sep 2001
Total posts: 10752
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PostPosted: 05-08-2013 23:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ronson8 wrote:
Zilch5 wrote:


Why would you want to control your toilet via your phone???

Rolling Eyes

In case you have to answer the call of nature.


It could also be used to tweet your status... 'Just took a huge dump, flushing loo now'. Laughing
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sherbetbizarreOffline
Great Old One
Joined: 04 Sep 2004
Total posts: 1772
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PostPosted: 13-08-2013 23:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Female Runner Caught on Camera Repeatedly Pooping in Man’s Yard

A resident of Nob Hill, New Mexico has caught an as-yet unidentified woman on camera repeatedly defecating in his yard during her morning run.

According to KOAT, the man, who did not want his identity revealed, at first thought a homeless person had relieved themselves on the spot, but then it happened again, and then twice more, most recently this past weekend.

“This is malicious fecal distribution,” he told reporters.

In the video, he said, the young, blond-haired woman runs into the alley by his house, “drops her pants, lets go, puts her shorts back up without any wipe, nothing else” and then runs away.

The first incident took place on Easter Sunday. The defecations always occur on weekend mornings, he said.

“If it happens again, I’m going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, ‘Bad human!’” he warned. He reportedly has not handed the video over to police because he believes that they will not take the (fecal) matter seriously.

http://topinfopost.com/2013/07/20/female-runner-caught-on-camera-repeatedly-pooping-in-mans-yard

Shocked
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Zilch5Offline
Vogon Poet
Joined: 08 Nov 2007
Total posts: 1580
Location: Western Sydney, Australia
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 14-08-2013 01:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well what do you expect living in a place called Nob Hill? Very Happy

Less poop more Nob I suppose...

(Ok that might have been my worst post ever here)
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MythopoeikaOffline
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PostPosted: 14-08-2013 20:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

Clearly she doesn't poop at home for some reason. Confused
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rynner2Offline
What a Cad!
Joined: 13 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 14-08-2013 21:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
He reportedly has not handed the video over to police because he believes that they will not take the (fecal) matter seriously.

But they could get DNA from the samples, which could help identify the perpetrator.
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MythopoeikaOffline
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PostPosted: 14-08-2013 21:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

rynner2 wrote:
Quote:
He reportedly has not handed the video over to police because he believes that they will not take the (fecal) matter seriously.

But they could get DNA from the samples, which could help identify the perpetrator.


They might not bother unless it blows up into something more serious.
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Timble2Offline
Imaginary person
Joined: 09 Feb 2003
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PostPosted: 14-08-2013 21:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love the phrase " “...malicious fecal distribution,” and will attempt to use it at every opportunity.
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Ronson8Offline
Things can only get better.
Joined: 31 Jul 2001
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Location: MK
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PostPosted: 14-08-2013 22:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

Timble2 wrote:
I love the phrase " “...malicious fecal distribution,” and will attempt to use it at every opportunity.
Look forward to it. Smile
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rynner2Offline
What a Cad!
Joined: 13 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 24-08-2013 08:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

This piece from the letters page is better written than most of the paper's articles! Twisted Evil

Paying to pee will cost more than keeping toilets free
4:08pm Friday 23rd August 2013 in Letters

Dear Editor, If you are unfortunate enough to have had any contact with the unitary authority recently, AKA Cornwall Council, you will have realised that in almost all departments it is dysfunctional and not fit for purpose.

The latest manifestation of this in a so-called attempt to minimise costs, is the installation of £12,000/£16,000 "pay 20p-to-pee" barriers on Falmouth's Prince of Wales Pier, and Grove Place Public toilets, the latter which were built and gifted to the Falmouth townspeople by Peter de Savary as one of the conditions of his Pendennis Village planning permission.

Apart from the ongoing costs of emptying and maintaining the new coin-mechanisms, and repairing recurring vandal attacks, which we understand may now necessitate the installation and monitoring of at least four CCTV surveillance cameras, neither the male nor female Prince of Wales Pier toilets now comply with disability access requirements, as the gate width between the heavy-duty stainless steel barriers is only 530mm ie 21 inches -approximately eight and a half inches too narrow to enable wheelchair users to access the disabled toilets, which are now situated on the inside of the barriers.

To confirm this, in existing publicly accessible structures, building regulations specify a minimum disability door/entrance access width of 750mm, and the council's own organisation, Disability Cornwall, confirm their requirement for a minimum access width of 800mm with a preferred width of 850mm, and in an ideal world, 900mm.

Both the male and female Prince of Wales Pier Toilets are therefore clearly illegal, and the sooner Cornwall Council removes these barriers, and publicly acknowledges that it has wasted yet more local tax payers' money on another monumental cock-up the better.

If you wish to contact the County Council employee responsible for these installations, he is the environmental project team leader working from the Radnor Road, Scorrier offices....

So come on folks, if we all get stuck in we can surely force Cornwall Council to obey the Disability Access Laws by removing these “pay-to-pee barriers”, and in so doing also help Falmouth's struggling shop owners to attract more local customers and tourists into the town centre

http://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/lettersandcomment/readerswrite/10632455.Paying_to_pee_will_cost_more_than_keeping_toilets_free/?ref=mr
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JamesWhiteheadOffline
Piffle Prospector
Joined: 02 Aug 2001
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PostPosted: 24-08-2013 10:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

They'll probably demolish the buildings. Sad
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OneWingedBirdOffline
Freelance Subversive
Joined: 19 Nov 2012
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Location: Attice of blinkey lights
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PostPosted: 24-08-2013 13:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sadly you're probably correct. Sad

Quote:
I love the phrase " “...malicious fecal distribution,” and will attempt to use it at every opportunity.


That is a rather good line. Very Happy
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 24-08-2013 15:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wonder how you'd go about organising friendly faecal distribution.
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JamesWhiteheadOffline
Piffle Prospector
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PostPosted: 24-08-2013 18:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

escargot1 wrote:
I wonder how you'd go about organising friendly faecal distribution.


Landover has lifted the lid on this. Eek Eek
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Ronson8Offline
Things can only get better.
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PostPosted: 24-08-2013 21:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

rofl rofl
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rynner2Offline
What a Cad!
Joined: 13 Dec 2008
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Location: Under the moon
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PostPosted: 21-09-2013 19:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ou est le papier..?

Venezuela seizes toilet paper factory to avoid shortage

The Venezuelan government has taken over a toilet paper factory to avoid any scarcity of the product.
The National Guard has taken control of the plant, and officers will monitor production and distribution.
Earlier this year officials ordered millions of toilet rolls to be imported to counter a chronic shortage.

Last week President Nicolas Maduro created a special committee to tackle the problem, which the government blames on unscrupulous traders.
The government ordered the temporary occupation of the Manpa plant in the northern state of Aragua, state-run Radio AVN reported.

In a tweet on Thursday, Venezuela's Vice President, Jorge Arreaza, said authorities would "not permit hoarding of essential commodities, or any faults in the production and distribution process."
The Minister of Trade, Alexander Fleming, said the factory occupation complied with Venezuelan law.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-24185342

Did Yes Minister ever come up with something so strange? Cool
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