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Humour and Jokes
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Do you have a GSOH?
Yes
66%
 66%  [ 60 ]
Sometimes
12%
 12%  [ 11 ]
No
5%
 5%  [ 5 ]
What's a GSOH?
15%
 15%  [ 14 ]
Total Votes : 90

Author Message
rynner
Location: Still above sea level
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 31-12-2007 21:38    Post subject: Humour and Jokes Reply with quote

All the good old threads on this keep evaporating, so I'm adding a pointless poll to try to sticky this one...

For starters, an Irish Joke (at least, I assume it was a tongue-in-cheek joke):-

I was searching Google Maps, and discovered that in Kinsale (on the south coast of Ireland) there is a place called....

Scilly Walk!

[Geographical footnote: The Isles off Scilly, off Cornwall, are SE of Kinsale, and probably one of the closest UK places to that town.]
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ArthurASCIIOffline
Hello Playmates
Joined: 26 Feb 2002
Total posts: 1543
Location: Letsbe Avenue
Age: 60
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 31-12-2007 21:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

On my beat here in sunny Northampton, theres a narrow lane called Danes Back Passage Embarassed
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Anome_Offline
Faceless Man
Joined: 23 May 2002
Total posts: 4896
Location: Left, and to the back.
Age: 46
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 01-01-2008 11:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I just watched a DVD of Adam Hills (Australian Comedian and TV Show Host) filmed in a hall in Pakenham, Victoria, where it was discovered that there was an adjacent suburb called Pakenham Upper.
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ArthurASCIIOffline
Hello Playmates
Joined: 26 Feb 2002
Total posts: 1543
Location: Letsbe Avenue
Age: 60
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 02-01-2008 06:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

ArthurASCII wrote:
On my beat here in sunny Northampton, theres a narrow lane called Danes Back Passage Embarassed

** Correction **
Sorry. I must have been full of Christmas spirit when I wrote this post - I got the name wrong.

The name of the footpath is actually,,, Danes Backside.
We also boast a Danes Passage

Listed here
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stunevilleOffline
Admin
Joined: 09 Mar 2002
Total posts: 8587
Location: FTMB HQ
Age: 47
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PostPosted: 02-01-2008 08:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just outside of Weston-Super-Mare there's a village called Uphill. The local horticultural society has, for a few years now, been called... The Uphill Horticultural Society. Prior to this? "The Uphill Gardeners Club".

Similarly, I know a teacher by the name of Mr Hankie. He only got mildly ribbed until South Park came along - imagine walking into a classroom and all the inmates, in unison, bellowing "Howwwwdy-hoooo!". Poor bastard Very Happy.
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rynner
Location: Still above sea level
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 02-01-2008 18:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

Giant knickers put out house fire

A family home was saved from burning down when a pair of giant knickers were used to put out a fire.
Jenny Marsey's size 18-20 cotton pants were a lifesaver when they were grabbed to cover a frying pan fire at her home in Meryl Gardens, Hartlepool, Teesside.

Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out.

But the quick-thinking pair used the Marks & Spencer underwear from a pile of washing, doused them in water, and threw them over the fire.

Mrs Marsey, 53, said: "My £4.99 parachute knickers have come in handy for something. We've had a good laugh that they were a bit like a fire blanket."

The incident happened on Sunday, while Mrs Marsey was out for the day.

Her son John and his cousin Darren, 23, were cooking, when they went to answer a knock at the door, only to return to a blazing kitchen.

Mrs Marsey said: "When they found the pan on fire they did what most people do and panicked.

"But they found a pair of my knickers in a washing basket and basically used them as a fire blanket to put out the fire."

Mrs Marsey, who is also mother to Sarah, 23, Joanne, 24, and Donna, 27, added: "I think if they had been my daughter Sarah's skimpy knickers they wouldn't have done any good.

"I'm taking it all in my stride and it's quite a funny start to the New Year."

A spokesman for Cleveland Fire Brigade said: "They did the right thing in the end. We advise everyone to get fire safety advice."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/tees/7167549.stm

Very Happy
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rynner
Location: Still above sea level
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 02-01-2008 20:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

Urgent inquiry into rail delays

Many people were expected to return to work on Wednesday
An urgent inquiry is to be carried out into engineering work delays which have caused chaos for thousands of people.
The Office of Rail Regulation began the inquiry after West Coast Mainline work overran by two days. Disruption was set to continue on Thursday.

............

Network Rail apologised for the delays and said it was working "flat out" to restore normal services.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7167073.stm

According to Channel 4 news, this nonsense has earned the company the nick-name

Not Work Rail! Very Happy
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escargot1Offline
Joined: 24 Aug 2001
Total posts: 13647
Location: Farkham Hall
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PostPosted: 02-01-2008 20:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh my poor sides. Rolling Eyes
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DoctorCrippenOffline
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Joined: 20 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 03-01-2008 09:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

according to this mornings metro its

"network fail"
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PeripartOffline
is still wondering
Joined: 01 Aug 2005
Total posts: 2903
Age: 46
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PostPosted: 03-01-2008 10:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stop, please, while I can still breathe!

"Network Rail" is also an anagram of "Lo! Train Wrek", and also of "Workin' later", which could explain the delays.
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WhistlingJackOffline
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Location: The Sewers of The Strand
Age: 10
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PostPosted: 03-01-2008 11:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

rynner wrote:
Her son and nephew were trying to fry some bread when the blaze broke out.


Not the brightest of families, then... Rolling Eyes
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Heckler20Offline
The Sockpuppet of
Joined: 16 Jul 2004
Total posts: 4001
Location: In the Nostril of The Crawling Chaos
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PostPosted: 03-01-2008 12:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

R.E. amusing streets/places:

Percy Passage in the West End of London.
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rynner
Location: Still above sea level
Gender: Male
PostPosted: 05-01-2008 10:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

From http://www.worldwidewords.org/nl/jgdq.htm

Deborah Lake wrote ... our local rural Northumberland newspaper has a young reporter who has spent his whole life in London. Telephoned with the information that the Grace Darling Museum at Bamburgh was about to re-open on 18 December after refurbishment, he spent some time wondering why the local population should have a museum devoted to the grey starling.”
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H_JamesOffline
Ancient Cow (&)
Joined: 18 May 2002
Total posts: 3495
PostPosted: 06-01-2008 04:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's a crotch crescent in Oxford.

RE: the original poll. No, I don't.
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Fizz32Offline
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Joined: 18 Oct 2005
Total posts: 268
Location: Just Off Topic
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PostPosted: 06-01-2008 12:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

My favourite place name is Firkin Point, just on the shores of Loch Lomond.

The bloke and I have the inevitable conversation about "FFS, will you get to the Firkin Point?" each time we pass the place.

Himself wanted to take a pic of me with the sign (captioned "At last, Fizz gets to the Firkin Point") when we passed it a couple of days ago, but it was snowing and I'm too nesh.
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