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Posted: 10-05-2013 23:22 Post subject:

That joke had long whiskers when I was in short trousers, but I agree that it's a classic.

Posted: 04-06-2013 11:27 Post subject:

This is from the Daily Mash and made me chuckle:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/wetherspoons-to-open-uks-first-human-zoo-2013060470772

Posted: 09-06-2013 07:46 Post subject:

Britain's Got Talent: Woman storms the stage and pelts Simon Cowell with eggs
It had promised to be an exciting night, but Simon Cowell could not have imagined he would become the spectacle.
By Josie Ensor
9:36PM BST 08 Jun 2013

Britain's Got Talent suffered a security lapse tonight after a woman managed to make her way onto the stage and pelt the music mogul with a carton of eggs.

Opera singers Richard and Adam Johnson were approaching the climax of their performance of To Dream The Impossible Dream when the smartly dressed woman walked out from behind the chorus line and launched her attack.

The BGT team confirmed that the woman who threw the egg was Natalie Holt, 30, a member of the Welsh singers' backing group who was said to have been turned down for last year's series.

In a statement issued by a BGT spokesman she said: "I want to apologise to Richard and Adam for overshadowing their performance.
"I've never done anything like this before and in hindsight I have realised it was a silly thing to do."

The spokesman said that police were called because of her "misguided actions" but that no further action would be taken against her.
Security were quick to react, escorting her off the stage but only after she had successfully hit Cowell on his jacket. Twisted Evil

Cowell reacted calmly, joking to the audience he thought the woman was throwing sandwiches and it was part of the performance.
An unimpressed Cowell said: "I sent a tweet out saying I don't like eggs and I really don't like eggs now."

Following the Welsh brothers' performance, Ant and Dec said: "We'd just like to point out that was not part of the performance. Well done for carrying on."
Fellow judge Alesha DIxon apologised to the group for having their performance interupted, while Amanda Holden was less polite, calling the woman a "stupid cow".

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/britains-got-talent/10108343/Britains-Got-Talent-Woman-storms-the-stage-and-pelts-Simon-Cowell-with-eggs.html

Coincidentally, I just had an egg for breakfast! (Big Deal, I hear you cry!) I normally just have some fruit, but today I was preparing some hard-boiled eggs for salads, etc, and one cracked quite badly, so I felt it was best to eat it straightaway. And then I read this story....

Anyhow, I bet the thought of Cowell getting egged raised a smile from most of you! Wink

Posted: 09-06-2013 10:53 Post subject:

The last thing I posted in the wee small hours was a link to a crazy video and song about Cowell and his natural ememies, the owls! Now the first post I read this morning is this story! Uncanny!

I don't think that woman is a cow! nonplus

The song dates from 2008 and includes a scene where Cowell is assaulted by two armies of opera-singing owls!

Posted: 16-06-2013 20:17 Post subject:

Alarming news from the world of cryptozoology:

link

Posted: 16-06-2013 21:46 Post subject:

Posted: 27-06-2013 00:17 Post subject:

You know what it's like, it's late and you should be going to sleep, then you find this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2Axn0xpufM

The Disney Princesses one is recommended too. Won't say more, it'll spoil the surprise.

Posted: 13-07-2013 09:37 Post subject:

Matt cartoon:

Sitting in the sunny garden, the wife explains to a friend:

"We were expecting a cold, wet summer, so we bought a patio heater instead of a barbecue."

...In the background, hubby is trying to use the patio heater to grill sausages! Very Happy

Posted: 19-07-2013 10:13 Post subject:

Photo Gallery:

Taken from Saucy Postcards: The Bamforth Collection, a new book which celebrates the golden age of comic postcards. The Yorkshire-based publisher Bamforth & Co started producing ‘saucy’ postcards in 1910, and at the peak of their popularity 20 million were in circulation per year. The cheeky designs became synonymous with the English seaside resorts where they were sold, but were also exported all over the world.

After World War Two, Bamforth artists began to satirise the classic comic archetypes that still resonate today – henpecked husbands, naughty nurses and over-sexed milkmen.

In this comprehensive showcase, a selection of more than 250 cards originally published from the early 1950s to the mid-1970s are reproduced in full colour for a nostalgic walk through Britain’s social history. As battles with the postcard censorship committees resulted in almost 150 prosecutions over the years, the postcards also raise interesting questions of censorship laws in addition to being a unique look at changing British humour. As George Orwell said of them in 1941: “Obscene... [but] the corner of the human heart they speak for might easily manifest itself in worse forms, and I for one should be sorry to see them vanish.”

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/10188639/Saucy-Postcards-The-Bamforth-Collection.html

Posted: 07-08-2013 02:21 Post subject:

Posted: 07-08-2013 17:51 Post subject:

When I read about this in the paper the PC angle wasn't even mentioned. Maybe that's Scotland for you, but that article makes it sound as if the scientists wanted to create a robo-Bernard Manning which doesn't appear to be the case.

Posted: 07-08-2013 21:14 Post subject:

I was tempted to start a new Marmite thread with this story...
..or should it be in Political Correctness? Well, I think it's funny, so I'm putting it here.. Twisted Evil

Marmite TV advert draws widespread complaints

A TV advert in which a spoof rescue team saves "stricken" jars of Marmite from homes where they have been neglected has prompted 278 complaints.
Some 250 complaints were received by the Advertising Standards Authority in just 24 hours, following the advert's debut on Monday evening.
Those who objected found the advert "offensive" and "in poor taste", said a spokesman for the ASA.
Viewers complained "it trivialises the work of animal welfare charities". Rolling Eyes

The spokesman confirmed that complaints were being monitored, but stressed that no further action was being taken by the watchdog at present.
Despite receiving a "high volume of complaints in a short space of time", it said, the number of complaints has subsequently dropped off.

The ASA said action would be taken if there was found to be problem with the advert under the advertising code.

A spokeswoman for Marmite, who are owned by Unilever, said it was "never [their] intention to cause offence".
"We have made every effort to ensure that this commercial entertains anyone who watches it," she continued.
"We believe we have created an unmistakably Marmite ad - people will either love it or hate it and they certainly won't forget it. Cool

"We hope that everyone will watch and enjoy this commercial in the light-hearted way it was intended."

The advert, which features the voice of BBC journalist Michael Buerk, parodies a team of welfare officers as they uncover neglected Marmite jars "stuck right at the back" of kitchen cupboards.
"Who knows how long that's been here?" says one actor as he carries off the Marmite to "clean him up".
"It's a baby one," bleats another actor. "[It's] not been used in a month... lid's stuck."

The 90-second advert concludes with a family enjoying their re-homed Marmite and the slogan: "Love it. Hate it. Just don't forget it."

Marmite trailed the advert's debut, during Monday's Coronation Street on ITV, on its Facebook page. Viewers posted mixed responses following its broadcast.

"This ad shows no regard for all those involved with animal welfair [sic] and I personaly [sic] will no longer eat Marmite till this ad is pulled," wrote one.

"How can u compare animal cruelty with marmite neglect...?" wrote another. "Come on people, have a sense of humour."

The RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) said it understood that "animal lovers are concerned on our behalf".
"We plan to talk to the makers of Marmite about how we can work together on animal welfare."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23601215

Weird that some people think it's about animal welfare rather than child welfare...
Says more about them than it does about anything else.
[rynner gives big Marmite jar a cuddle..]

Posted: 08-08-2013 03:10 Post subject:

Posted: 17-08-2013 09:48 Post subject:

A couple from World Wide Words newsletter:

• Gerald Etkind found this headline over a story dated 10 August on the website of the Athens Banner-Herald of Georgia: “Man asked to clean up after dog pulls gun.” Shocked

• I quote from an article in The Independent on 12 August about the Australian general election: “On the campaign trail and addressing a Liberal Party event in the city of Melbourne [opposition leader Tony] Abbott said: “No one — however smart, however well-educated, however experienced — is the suppository of all wisdom.” Very Happy