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squashed cat myth
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QuetzelcoatlOffline
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PostPosted: 27-08-2002 16:52    Post subject: squashed cat myth Reply with quote

and before Defenders Of Cat Nation start, I'm warming to cats

it goes like this....

some years ago, as a fledgling exec I was working all night on an important pitch. At dawn the Big Boss says "fantastic work ethelred. Can you give me a lift home?".

fantastic. I'm shattered and he lives in the country, but he's the boss and I'm on the make, so I say "OK".

when we get to his house he says "You must come in for a coffee so you will stay awake on your return journey".

invited into the Big Bosses house? Fantastic!

so he lets us into the sleeping house and goes through to the kitchen indicating I should make myself comfortable in the living room.

knackered, I flop on the sofa and feel a crunching noise behind me. I look down to see I've sat on a kitten and its not moving.

hearing the boss return, in panic I stuff the kitten into my jacket pocket. The boss hands me my coffee and says "Did you see my daughters new kitten anywhere?".

"Noe".

he then proceeds to whistle, call and look all around for the kitten while I drink scalding coffee as fast as possible and jump up saying I must go now.

that story was told to me as True, but I believe its an urban myth.
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ninja_catOffline
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PostPosted: 27-08-2002 16:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

It must be an UL as kittens are bloody hard to squash - I know, I've sat on our one a few times (by accident!!!!!) and you don't get too far before a god almighty Miaaooww goes up and the kitten legs it.
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 27-08-2002 22:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wasn't there something along those lines involving baby rabbits in the film "Jesus' son"?
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 28-08-2002 21:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's the snopes page on this one...
www.snopes.com/critters/mishaps/crushdog.htm


sureshot
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stunevilleOffline
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PostPosted: 29-08-2002 09:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was going to say, I've heard loads of variations on this one: quite often it's related as an Edwardian gentleman visiting a country house to ask the Lord of the Manor's permission to marry his daughter, or similar, and crushing their Yorkshire Terrier whilst waiting in the study.

Stu
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 29-08-2002 11:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

How about laying the carpet with the budgie out of it's cage.

"Oh look, there's a lump in the new carpet" thump thump.

I have heard a similar UL about a guy driving home from the pub. He runs over a cat and stops a few yards down the road.

He sees a cat twitching on the pavement and picks up a spade from an adjacent garden and clobbers the thing to put it out of it's misery.

He speeds home and gets a knock on the door half an hour later; it's a policeman who's traced his registration number given to him by the horrified owner of the cat, who's just seen him club her poor moggie to death and chuck it into her garden.

The policeman asks the man to come outside to check over the car.

Lodged under the bumper is the bloodied and crumpled body of the cat he ran over - the other cat, it seems was just napping on the pavement!
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 29-08-2002 16:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sort of related.
My Dad squashed our cat all right. Years ago when I was a kid our cat disappeared. This was a proper pet cat, over the years we have tamed feral cats to a degree, but they always have a habit of disappearing. This one was a total pet so when he went AWOL there was much mystery.
About four months later my Dad found the mummified body of the cat then he moved a bale of hay in the cow shed. Then he remembered dropping the bale over the wall without looking. Poor cat must have suffocated, hope it was quick. Sad
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 29-08-2002 16:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last year my mother noticed a rank smell in our car. She searched all over the place for some forgotten shopping or something else that had gone rotten in the car, but to no avail. In despair, she brought the car to our local mechanic who found one of our many ferile cats that had been fried and refried on my mother's engine for a period of weeks...

Nice!...
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fiktishusOffline
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PostPosted: 31-08-2002 03:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

cosmicbaby wrote:

Wasn't there something along those lines involving baby rabbits in the film "Jesus' son"?


Yeh, they run over and killed the rabbit. They then 'saved' the little baby rabbits by cutting them out of the dead rabbits belly. F**khead, who was trying to keep them warm in his jacket later fell asleep in the front of the truck and somehow squished them down the back of the seat.

Sad
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 02-09-2002 06:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

sounds like a situation Ben Stiller would fall into.
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 18-06-2003 09:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

cosmicbaby wrote:

Wasn't there something along those lines involving baby rabbits in the film "Jesus' son"?


Also used as a gag in an episode of 'The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air'. Uncle Phil sits on a box containing the irritating youngest child (who they bought in in the later series)'s pet rabbit. He and Will then spend a lot of time faffing about trying to replace it before the kid gets wise to the tragedy. Sadly, they entrust the mission to the pet store to Hillary, who buys a rabbit of a completely different colour.
They don't make 'em like that any more.
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kiel_dOffline
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PostPosted: 18-06-2003 12:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quicksilver wrote:


I have heard a similar UL about a guy driving home from the pub. He runs over a cat and stops a few yards down the road.


Billy Connelly does that in his stand up routine, he says that it was told to him by Liam Neison and happened to a prop manager during the filming of "Rob Roy"

maybe a true story... i don't know. Smile
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Anonymous
PostPosted: 18-06-2003 13:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's quite easy to squash kittens. My step-brother had a kitten that somehow managed to climb under a loose bath panel, in his efforts to capture the daft animal he somehow managed to squash it in his hands and kill it. He was not being particularly heavy handed and he's not some kind of psycho, I guess they look tougher than they really are.
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gncxxOffline
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PostPosted: 22-06-2003 14:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

The best variation of this is the bloke who goes to meet his girlfriend's mother, and the pet budgie is flying around her living room, the GF and mother leave the room to get the tea, bloke crosses his legs and accidentally kicks the low flying budgie into the open roaring fire.

So he get the coal tongs to retrieve the bird, and just at that moment the GF and mother return to see him apparently roasting the budgie in the fire!
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Imperial_CallOffline
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PostPosted: 22-06-2003 21:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

Blueswidow wrote:

It's quite easy to squash kittens. My step-brother had a kitten that somehow managed to climb under a loose bath panel, in his efforts to capture the daft animal he somehow managed to squash it in his hands and kill it. He was not being particularly heavy handed and he's not some kind of psycho, I guess they look tougher than they really are.


That's true, a stray kitten wandered into a shed at the stables where I used to keep my horse, and we were feeding it in secret [lest the farmer drown it], we hadn't seen it for a couple of days, so I went into the shed and lifted up a piece of corrugated sheet, and there beneath it squashed quite flat was Smudge ...

Perhaps we should have called him Hardasnails?
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