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Dreaming of the dead
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grimnebulinOffline
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PostPosted: 15-08-2013 22:17    Post subject: Dreaming of the dead Reply with quote

First of all apologies if this has been covered elsewhere, I'm still new to this. Not sure if this is the right place for this either!
I sometimes dream about people who have died. In the case of my Mum who died two years ago, the dreams are peaceful and reassuring. Yet when I dream about my Gran who as a lovely, gentle lady, the dreams are like nightmares. I am always afraid, her house feels haunted and she is a sinister scary presence.
And the other night I dreamed about a girl who had been a close friend when I was younger. She died in a tragic accident when we were twenty. She was also a lovely, gentle person but in the dream I was terrified of her, she had grabbed me by the arms and when I said her name her eyes turned white and "dead" and I screamed and woke myself up.
I suppose what I'm getting at is why would my dear Gran and friend would want to scare me? Is it just random, inexplicable brain activity? I'm always disturbed after these dreams. Anyone care to comment?
Thanks.
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MythopoeikaOffline
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PostPosted: 15-08-2013 22:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

My advice is to drink less caffeine and go to bed earlier.
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grimnebulinOffline
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PostPosted: 15-08-2013 22:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surprised eek! are you my husband?! he's always saying that...
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 15-08-2013 22:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great post! Very Happy

We do have at least one dreaming of the dead thread. It's one of my favourite subjects, along with ghosts, afterlife communicate and the general morbid stuff.

There is discussion of why the dead would pop up in our dreams and what they're saying to us, or more likely, what our own subconscious is telling us. Wink

As I typed that, the fillum Proof was playing, and the Anthony Hopkins character was telling Gwyneth Paltrow that he'd just died of an aneurism. Shocked

You might like this - Odd dreams of relatives who've passed over Cool
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Old_ShoeOffline
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PostPosted: 15-08-2013 23:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting subject. I've had odd dreams like that too, specifically, recurring dreams involving my grandparents' house. When I was a kid by brother and cousins and I all felt totally creeped out in that house, especially in the living room, front bedroom and in the upstairs area. I used to feel like someone was watching me whenever I was alone there. Now, in more recent years the strange dreams start up for me and in each dream it takes place in a different house, but I always know it's THAT house. I usually feel trapped, somehow.

I've chalked it up to one of life's little mysteries. I can speculate what might be behind all that. Part of being human, I guess. Wink
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MythopoeikaOffline
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PostPosted: 16-08-2013 18:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

grimnebulin wrote:
Surprised eek! are you my husband?! he's always saying that...


Ha ha, no - I am not he. Laughing

I'm just full of boring common sense. Smile
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marionXXXOffline
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PostPosted: 16-08-2013 20:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

Something I worked out about certain scary dreams- sometimes if the dream is powerful or has a person or situation in it that is powerful it comes across as frightening when really it is trying to give you a message (like the ghosts in The Sixth Sense). If you can slip into lucid dreaming instead of running away screaming you can try to change them and maybe learn something.
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grimnebulinOffline
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PostPosted: 17-08-2013 16:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not boring at all, Mytho! (if I may address you thus)

L'Escargot, thanks for that link, after reading those stories I hid in a corner, quivering! Very Happy

Marion, That's interesting, I'll give it a go. Usually though, my dreams are so mad that I can't quite "get a hold of them" IYSWIM.
I blame the medication Wink
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 17-08-2013 19:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

grimnebulin wrote:

L'Escargot, thanks for that link, after reading those stories I hid in a corner, quivering! Very Happy


My work here is done. Cool

I've read somewhere that, because messages from the subconscious may be too raw for us to process, even in sleep, they are scrambled and disguised to soften them.

Thus, the theory goes, we often see situations and relationships distorted or even reversed. So we might dream of really fancying Mr X at work when in reality we despise him. The dream is actually about the effect our abhorrence of him is having on our work, if we need to stop avoiding him and get on with things.

In the light of this, dreaming that a dead person is alive and so we need no longer worry about them seems like an indication of a subconscious acceptance that we need to let go and move on.

If only it were that simple. Sad

However, having 'happy' dreams about the dead does seem to mark a turning point in many people's experience of grief.
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marionXXXOffline
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PostPosted: 17-08-2013 21:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

I often have just one dream about a person or animal after they die, I think I wrote about my after death dream about my ex on another thread.

Yesterday I had a dream about my daughter's dog who died of old age a few months back. I've been very upset about her death as I was very close to her in the first six years of her life but moved away and hardly saw her then she had to be re-homed for the last 18 months of her life. She died quietly in her sleep and I just kept thinking about that and for some reason it really upset me.

In my dream I was in a huge house with lots of very large rooms, the house 'belonged' to my Grandmother who spent the dream lurking around looking pretty much like the last few times I saw her alive.
My daughter's dog was ecstatically happy and hyperactive, leaping about and behaving like she did when she was at her most happy with life. I knew she was dead though and spent the dream bawling my eyes out.

I actually do feel better about her passing now. Strangely enough I didn't really care that much about my grandmother in the dream, I think that is the first time I have dreamed about her, she died before my daughter's dog was even born.
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 17-08-2013 22:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's a dog story from the b3ta site.
You may wish to turn down the gas light, stir the last embers of the dying fire, settle down in your battered leather armchair and light your last pipe of the night...


The night our dog died
When our family dog died, I was in my early twenties still living in the home I was raised, an Indian family in the suburbs of London

As anyone who has had a pet will know, it was devastating for all of us and it marks the one creepy story in my life

The evening that our dog passed away, my younger brother walked into my bedroom at about 2am and quietly asked if i was awake. Of course, that did the trick and I said I was. "Can you hear that?". With such a question, I was wide awake in a nano second and sitting upright. I strained to pick out what he seemed to hear very obviously, but couldnt hear anything. he repeated twice "there, can't you hear that?". I might add at this point that my Brother is very level head-headed. Very anti drugs and anti anything that results in loss of mental self control, very stoic... So i did not think then, or now, that he was imagining it and asked him what he could hear. "I can hear Dad outside calling me"

I got out of bed and in my sleepy state, I imagined that perhaps our Father had gone sleep walking or got stuck outside (why, I didnt know, but I was trying to match scenarios to what my Brother was telling me). He had never done either. So, we walked to my Parents room and peered into the darkness. I quietly called out "Dad?" and he woke with a slight start obviously a bit suprised to have both his adult sons looking in to the room. This time my brother just said he could hear a voice in the garden and now the whole family was awake

What followed would be comical if it wasn't so odd at the time. We all quietly trooped downstairs and I picking up the nearest solid object as now I supposed there must be an intruder in our back garden

Our garden is accessed by huge sliding glass doors. It means that you can see the outside clearer than the inside because of the ambient light from the street. As we walked towards the doors, it was obvious that the garden was empty

Again, my brother asked "Cant you all hear that???" By now he was slightly bewildered more than anything. My Father asked "what exactly can you hear?" and he told him what he told me orginally "Dad, I can hear YOU calling out to me". I still remember my Father's reaction when he asked him to repeat what he just said. My Father's face showed a sense of recognition & sadness. He seemed to nod.. He looked out at the garden and said to all of us "everyone go to sleep, I am going to stay up a while"

At this point I just thought the whole thing was rather silly and happily trooped up to bed, and was asleep immediately

The next morning, I came downstairs and of course asked what all that was about. My brother was already awake, but my Father was waiting for me to get up before saying anything

My father is a hindu. The religion is the world's oldest major religion and is a unique combination of culturally led traditions, supersitions & dogma. My Father is a humble man and never imposed the religion on us London born boys (he even sent us to Roman Catholic Schools without blinking). So he chose words knowing that his audience were in many ways removed from his beliefs, neither familiar nor overly skeptical

he told us that according to Hindu belief, when animals die, they dont know that they have passed on. Humans know that they have died, so, unless they have 'unfinished' business, they dont hang about. But pets want to come back into the home that they have lived in for years. As they are on the outside, they call out to someone in the family in a human voice that this person will recognise in the hope that they will let them in.

I went quite cold, and my Brother was so unnerved, his face actually went completely blank

My Father then said that he had sat facing the garden and prayed for our pet dog and told her to go in peace.

I never questioned my Brother about it and he did not defend what he said he had heard nor started to fob it off as something imagined

We never spoke about it again.
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Pietro_Mercurios
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PostPosted: 17-08-2013 23:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow! It's like something out of Rudyard Kipling.
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Spudrick68Offline
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PostPosted: 18-08-2013 10:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fantastic.
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snavej1Offline
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PostPosted: 22-08-2013 16:38    Post subject: Another 'dreaming of the dead' story Reply with quote

2nd September 2012 - Our cat Grey (formerly Jessie) died of kidney and thyroid failure in her basket. She was roughly 17 years old: we don't know her exact date of birth.

A few weeks later, my Dad had a very clear dream where Grey returned to life. She emerged from behind Dad's garden shed and walked across the lawn in front of the shed. She approached Dad and then he woke up.

11th February 2013 - Dad died of a heart attack while trying to dig out weeds in the garden. He was behind the same garden shed as in the previous paragraph. He was found by his research assistant a few minutes later. An ambulance was called. The ambulance men carried Dad out from behind the shed and laid him on the lawn. They tried to resuscitate him but they were unsuccessful.

You might say that this was a kind of death prediction or premonition. Grey has also appeared in one of my dreams, where she was hiding in a cardboard box, then jumped out and ran into the lounge.

My Dad, my brother and I have all had other dreams of the dead. I personally have had dozens of them in the last 8 years.
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UrvogelOffline
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PostPosted: 23-08-2013 22:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dunno if I've posted this one before...

Last year my paternal Grandma passed away. She had been very ill for a while and it had finally overcome her. It hit me pretty hard as we were close and tbh I'm still not entirely over it. Every week since I was little my Dad and I would go and visit her on Sundays. I loved it since I'd always have a nice time there and she made the best Sunday dinners in the world.

A few days after she'd died I had a dream that Dad and I had gone to visit her. She was pottering around the kitchen making dinner and singing to herself. I was amazed, since not only had she been so ill she struggled to walk without a frame. I said to her "Grandma, I can't believe how well you are, you were so ill we all thought you were going to die!" She looked at me, smiled and said "Don't worry, I'm alright now."

I know the most likely explanation was that it was just a dream and my grieving mind was just taking me back to a happier time but still, I like to think it was my Grandma giving me a message that she was free from suffering now.

I had another one a few months ago where my Grandma returned to earth and thought that I didn't know she was dead, so she wanted to spend one last day with me. But I knew she was dead and realised she didn't know that I knew, so I pretended that I thought she was still alive. The dream was just me and her spending time together, both knowing that it would be our last day with each other.

I woke up feeling happy and at peace after that one. It did feel like I had some closure, and it was so nice to see her again.

Writing this post has choked me up a little :<
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