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Posted: 03-09-2013 06:58 Post subject: You Know You're Getting Old When...

You Know You're Getting Old When -

Andre Rieu albums are in your music collection.

Carpet Slippers.

Beige cardigans seem fashionable.

Prunes are a large part of your diet.

You're convinced books and newspapers are using smaller print, just to annoy you.

You think Midsomer Murders is great TV.

Posted: 03-09-2013 09:24 Post subject:

I was recently ridiculed for being photographed beside the Cheshire Dalek while wearing Crocs and an Aran cardie. Nobody spotted my ever-present pack of ready-to-eat prunes, though! Twisted Evil

What's this *older* business anyway? I was 55 a few days ago. All I need are a new pair of reading specs and I'm good to go. Cool

Andre Rieu albums are in your music collection - I watch him on TV.

Carpet Slippers - Crocs. They are carpet slippers that you can wear anywhere.

Beige cardigans seem fashionable - I own several

Prunes are a large part of your diet - have always been!

You're convinced books and newspapers are using smaller print, just to annoy you - can hardly read them on the treadmill anymore!

You think Midsomer Murders is great TV - always has been. And highly realistic. Gritty, almost.

Laughing

Posted: 03-09-2013 10:24 Post subject:

Sarcasm, you forgot sarcasm. Wink

Posted: 03-09-2013 10:49 Post subject:

You Know You're Getting Old When -

You post things on the Fortean Times Message Board.

Very old people mistake you for your grandfather.

You refer to Star Trek as "Star Trek", and not "Star Trek -- The Original Series".

You have to google the word "twerking", and after reading several definitions you still don't quite understand what it means, or why Miley Cyrus was doing it to Robin Thicke on television.

You remember when milk was delivered door-to-door every morning, by horse-drawn wagon in fact. (Which sounds a bit more archaic than it really is, the tradition of horse-drawn milk-wagons endured for many decades after the introduction of the internal combustion engine, in parts of rural Canada anyway.)

You feel the need to mitigate the fact that you remember when milk was delivered by horse-drawn wagons.

You find yourself frequently standing around muttering "Now where did I leave my damn hat?" and then after a while you realize that you are already wearing your damn hat, and you say "Oh."

You remember the year of the best pumpkin crop, and you constantly bore people by telling them about it. (It was back in 1995. I don't know what it was, perfect weather, so many days of early morning rain followed by sunny skies, but the vines just went crazy. I had planted an acre, well before they were through they covered more than three acres! They climbed fences, there were twenty-pound pumpkins growing up in the trees, pumpkins fifteen feet in the air in maple trees, vines as thick as your wrist, you could stand out there in the late afternoon and hear the vines creaking against each other, they were taking up water so fast. They climbed a five foot chain link fence, and folded it almost to the ground with their weight. And such pumpkins, perfect skin, a deep red orange that practically glowed in the sun. Traffic would stop on the road, people would stop and stare at all those crazy pumpkins.)

Posted: 03-09-2013 10:55 Post subject:

Age is . . .
Talking about the War to children, as if it was the precious inheritance your parents thought it was.

Age is . . .
Feeling that having a poo and putting the bin out is quite enough work for one morning.

Age is . . .
Thinking I'll just have a nice salad.

Age is . . .
Telling complete strangers that your pubic hair has hardly aged at all. Embarassed

Posted: 03-09-2013 12:54 Post subject:

I'm wondering what hell the OP lives in if they are doing all that at 35 Laughing

Posted: 03-09-2013 20:22 Post subject:

The only thing 'old' about me is my grey hair. And the fact that I don't move about much. Smile

I could fix that with hair dye...

Posted: 03-09-2013 21:25 Post subject:

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Posted: 03-09-2013 22:18 Post subject:

You know you're getting old when you won't let some twat in to the line of single file traffic at the road works and they call you an old c*nt.

Posted: 03-09-2013 22:35 Post subject:

What a politically incorrect ageist thread! Evil or Very Mad

MODS!

Don't knock it until you've tried it..

..and then remember there could still be worse to come...

As the blessed FH used to say "Don't mock the afflicted!"..

because you'll all be afflicted sooner or later,

...unless Providence is kind and you're hit by a bus beforehand... Twisted Evil

Posted: 03-09-2013 22:47 Post subject:

Ryn, this thread is written by people who are doing all those things!

You are in good company! Smile

Posted: 04-09-2013 02:27 Post subject:

Posted: 04-09-2013 02:54 Post subject:

You know you're old when you realize one or more articles of your attire are older than the whippersnapper you're talking down to ...

You know you're getting problematically old when this realization (or any other mental digression) unavoidably signifies you've forgotten what you were saying. Embarassed