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I've also seen a headline relating to this story reading "Saint Jones fined for Mad Monday dwarf fire" but I can't seem to find that one on line.

http://au.sports.yahoo.com/afl/news/article/-/18762814/saint-apologises-for-lighting-dwarf-on-fire/

St Kilda player Clinton Jones has apologised and will pay a $3000 fine for setting a dwarf on fire in a Mad Monday prank.

The Saints released a statement late on Tuesday, a day after the incident happened at a South Melbourne hotel.

Dwarf entertainer Arthur Serevetas says his colleague Blake Johnston, who performs under the moniker Mr Big, had his clothing set alight by Jones with a stove gas lighter.

"I sincerely apologise to Mr Johnston and have done so personally today," Jones said in the club statement.

"As a playing group we were engaged in end of season activities which in hindsight were quite childish.

"I made an error of judgment in including Mr Johnston in the activity.

"I am embarrassed if this has caused angst and certainly had no intention to cause any harm to anyone, including St Kilda and their members."

The Saints said Jones had also contacted AFL chief executive Andrew Demetriou.

"The matter ... has now been dealt with in full by all involved," they added.

Johnston has apparently decided not to take any legal action over the incident.

"I have made the decision not to purse any charges or action against the club or the player involved," Channel Nine quoted him as saying.

Nine also said the fine would be paid to charities of Johnston's choice.

Johnston's colleague Arthur Serevetas also blasted Demetriou, who laughed on Monday night television when asked about the incident.

"You've basically dismissed someone because they're not in your league," Serevetas told Nine.

"He's probably a bully with a smile, to tell you the truth."

On Tuesday, Demetriou apologised for his initial reaction, saying he thought a Seven Network producer had made up the story.

"I was actually giggling in the beginning because I'd been told by the producer during the break before we went onto the next segment and I thought they were having me on," Demetriou told 3AW on Tuesday.

"I thought it was a joke.

"When this was brought up, I just thought it was incredulous to think that this could possibly be."

Demetriou said he didn't believe it was genuine until the story, which had been published online, was read to him.

"After I found out that it was true, it's just reprehensible.

"I was flabbergasted, because in the scheme of all the things that we've been (through this season), that would've been one thing I could have never predicted that we would deal with.

"It (the initial reaction) wasn't meant to be offensive and I apologise to anyone who is offended."

Demetriou said he planned to contact Johnston to see how he was and to apologise for his initial reaction.

"I wasn't directing my laughter at him, I just couldn't believe the situation could occur.

"I don't understand, unless someone can explain, what's the purpose of having lighters? I don't get that.

"We spend our whole lives telling children not to play with matches ..."

Police had launched an investigation into the incident, arguably Australian sport's most bizarre Mad Monday story.

Johnston and Serevetas, who charge $500 per two hours according to their website, were hired to perform for Saints players the day after their season-ending win over Fremantle on Sunday as part of post-season celebrations.

"Part of his shirt and pants caught on fire," Serevetas said.

"After that someone put it out and he got ticked off and we basically left."

Police confirmed to AAP a complaint had been lodged.

South Melbourne's crime investigation unit was probing the claims.

"I know detectives are looking at it," a Victoria Police spokesman said on Tuesday.

Posted: 04-09-2013 11:31 Post subject:

I am sticking this here because it is a similarly religious sounding headline:

Jesus feeds the 5,000 on Brighton Beach
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10648239.Jesus_feeds_the_5_000_on_Brighton_Beach/?ref=ms

Posted: 04-09-2013 12:08 Post subject:

Posted: 04-09-2013 20:00 Post subject:

Is The Argus now a viable replacement for The Weekly World News?

Posted: 05-09-2013 00:02 Post subject:

That's the way it's taken round here, yes.

Posted: 13-09-2013 11:14 Post subject:

It's fast becoming my favourite local newspaper. I have to go through local newspapers at work to look for specific stories on industrial relations so I sometimes see some great stories in the sidebars. Very distracting.

Posted: 13-09-2013 13:03 Post subject:

It's utter rubbish, but entertaining rubbish.