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When it happend, it happend...
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AnacondaEqOffline
Great Old One
Joined: 04 Feb 2014
Total posts: 116
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PostPosted: 09-02-2014 22:32    Post subject: When it happend, it happend... Reply with quote

I stared at the goat, its eyes were square, and I didn't understand why, but the vision stayed with me for the rest of my life, and that night I woke up, I knew the goat had come for me.

It all started off innocently enough, I took a mild interest in goats, I found them interesting, interesting enough to buy various goat memorabilia and books, it was the books that were my downfall...

As I walked down a quiet country road in Cornwall, I came across one of those shops that seem to sell everything, old bits of furniture, bric'a'brac, useless antiques and out of print books, it was the books that lured me in... that fateful (and unfortunate) day.

You see, they had an unusually large collection of goat related literature, that alone should have set off the alarm bells, but I was young and careless, I did not read the signs.

The lady who served me was nice enough, she didn't bat an eyelid at the volume of books I had decided to purchase, least of all comment on the fact they were all to do with goat... I should have known then, that something was not right.

She stuffed them various containers, some paper bags some plastic carriers from various supermarkets, but all the time I could not shake the feeling that something was wrong, something, terribly wrong.

I stared at her as she packed away my items, almost daring her to give me some hint, some clue... to validate these terrible feelings of doom, but the lady hardly gave me a glance, if she knew something, she was not letting on.

I ambled out of the strange old shop, my arms weighed down by the volumes of goat related media and looks around furtively, there was nobody else around. I made my way home without further incidence.

**2 Days Later**

The pain of my addiction knows no bounds, the leather bound volume sold to me by that wicked old lady, with the treatise explaining the herding of none native goats, has led me to insanity. If I had known the intricacies of pain that would be hurled upon me as a result of my purchase, I would have fled, leaving all I have behind. Nay, it is too late for me. The goat has got me, the witch that played this curse upon my innocent soul is surely laughing. Let her laugh, my suffering is not without merit, not without reward. I now know how to herd goats, a skill that even the wise have yet to discover, and although this knowledge may bring madness, I take the gift with ease, knowing that I am one of the few.

I die now, Happy.
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feinmanOffline
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Joined: 25 Nov 2013
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PostPosted: 10-02-2014 04:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pull thyself back from that vertiginous abyss! Heed not the horrible caprigenous bleatings of the demons! Gaze not upon the hideous caprine friezes and Baphometic masonry! Come forth and live as a man, that ye may avenge yourself upon that diabolical witch who has locked ye into the pastures of hell!! IO! IO! MAN! IO! IO! PAN! IAO! IAOOOO!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b45dOzBN8k
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brumbenOffline
Grey
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 16:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, I'll say it then. I ain't afraid of no goat.
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OneWingedBirdOffline
Freelance Subversive
Joined: 19 Nov 2012
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Location: Attice of blinkey lights
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 19:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

Io Pan! God of death and procreation
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linesmachineOffline
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Joined: 23 Aug 2003
Total posts: 912
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 19:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

He's right though. They do have weird eyes.

But then on the other hand they do offer a healthy alternative to cows milk.

Life is so confusing...
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Pietro_Mercurios
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 19:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

And great cheese. Smile
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linesmachineOffline
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Joined: 23 Aug 2003
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 20:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, the goat may have associated himself too close to the king of evil BUT he did facilitate the modern day middle class salad cheese. Its a difficult call.
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linesmachineOffline
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 20:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, the goat may have associated himself too close to the king of evil BUT he did facilitate the modern day middle class salad cheese. Its a difficult call.
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MythopoeikaOffline
Joined: 18 Sep 2001
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 20:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

Goat's cheese IS evil incarnate.
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MoookstaOffline
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Joined: 26 May 2006
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PostPosted: 25-02-2014 21:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mythopoeika wrote:
Goat's cheese IS evil incarnate.


Agreed.

People who like goat's cheese have never had to clean out the bins on a cold wet Wednesday morning...they smell very, very, very similar.

And why would you ruin a pizza by putting on it!.

Hang on though....

Which came first...Satan as a goat...or did some artist hijack old Billy's noggin and stick it on Beelzebub ?
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AMPHIARAUS
PostPosted: 26-02-2014 00:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok so your snared by the whole demonic goat thing and your soul is damned for eternity. But on the upside you can start a nice little business selling organic speciality cheeses.

Every cloud etc.
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linesmachineOffline
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Joined: 23 Aug 2003
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PostPosted: 26-02-2014 14:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

AMPHIARAUS wrote:
Ok so your snared by the whole demonic goat thing and your soul is damned for eternity. But on the upside you can start a nice little business selling organic speciality cheeses.

Every cloud etc.


Agreed.

Perhaps a mod can lock this thread now that it's been resolved?
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ramonmercadoOffline
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PostPosted: 26-02-2014 15:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

linesmachine wrote:
AMPHIARAUS wrote:
Ok so your snared by the whole demonic goat thing and your soul is damned for eternity. But on the upside you can start a nice little business selling organic speciality cheeses.

Every cloud etc.


Agreed.

Perhaps a mod can lock this thread now that it's been resolved?


If they butt in then they might lock horns with someone, no kidding.
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linesmachineOffline
Great Old One
Joined: 23 Aug 2003
Total posts: 912
Location: Oxfordia UK
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PostPosted: 27-02-2014 10:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since this thread isn't locked....Goats feature in the Voynich Manuscript, I even mentioned it here http://www.paranormalcamping.com/1/post/2014/02/voynich-revealed.html

This is surely a sign that the Devil himself had a hand in the VM? Proof!

Now, cmon, lock the thread coz I've resolved TWO mysteries....
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AnacondaEqOffline
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Joined: 04 Feb 2014
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PostPosted: 03-03-2014 20:38    Post subject: A Chance To Change Reply with quote

***EPILOGUE***

The path of the goat has been long, long and winding… it has led me to the heights of ecstasy, and to the depths of despair. For many a day, I had thought I had gone mad, I wandered the streets wild eyed, my beard encrusted with remnants of goat cheese and goat milk, I reeked of old bins and sour curdled milk, shunned by all that I came across.

At first I begged on street corners, begged them to lend me money, or to buy me goat cheese… I rummaged through shop bins, and even peoples compost recycling… anything to get one more fix, to taste that wonderfully repulsive product of the Capra Aegagrus Hircus, my bounty… and my bane.

I sought the help of professionals, but was turned away with scorn, “addicted to goats cheese?!” they said as they laughed and turned away, their dirty looks lingering upon my soul like a flaccid hairy noodle.

Until one day I happened upon a person who understood me, a man who had gone through the very same experience that had been hurled upon me, with him I found compassion, understanding and redemption. He started me upon a recovery course, feeding me watered down goats milk and small slivers of cheese, slowly… slowly weaning me of my addiction.

I now work as a councillor for those who have been affected by the GCC (Goat Cheese Curse) and although the condition is not recognised by the medical profession thus far, we are gaining great headway and petitioning local MP’s to get this serious problem addressed in parliament, and hopefully will have resources made available to the general public in the near future.

I hope my tale has brought some comfort to those who have had similar experiences, and hopefully GCC will be eradicated one day soon.

If you have been affected by this story or know others who might have been please visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JHTXB15B-I

My thoughts are with you all.

When goats are all you think of, and goats are all you have,
When cheese and milk consume you, and seem to drive you mad.

Come and seek your brothers, we have helping hands abound,
Your mind may still be fragile, but redemption can be found.
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