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When things turned upside down
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OneWingedBirdOffline
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PostPosted: 25-07-2014 17:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Of course being an adult isn't all fun and games Wink it sure beats being an unhappy child!


Totally, bugs the heck out of me when people go on about how easy life was then, maybe it was for them, not for some of us.

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jimv1Offline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 00:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for your replies.
One formative thing that happened to me kind of instilled a distrust in authority I have today.
Chemistry lessons. Doing those experiments. I asked the chemistry teacher why he had a different textbook to the rest of us... one that had all the results in it. I asked for the title and where I could get that book, then we could learn it and not bother with the experiments.
I got marked down as a 'disruptive element' for that.
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SHAYBARSABEOffline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 00:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

Frideswide wrote:
I was about 7 when I realised that hating my parents wasn't a passing phase.

And then 30 seconds later I realised that once I was old enough I could leave and have nothing to do with them ever again.


Congratulations on getting out. I tried to leave when I was 6, but deep into the night, with my hand on the gate latch, I realized that I'd get picked up by some authority and brought back. I crawled through my window, again, into the house and that was that.

My wake up was realizing that there are some things you really won't get away with doing.
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jimv1Offline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 00:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is an autonomy to be a grown adult that we don't often use.

I think this is because there's a growing trend to make the public look more infantile in news and entertainment shows.
Try this... don't feel guilty when you're fobbed off with a dodgy meal or poor service... Remember Squeaky wheel gets most oil.
When you're fed up with crap, do something about it.

In was in the café M&S in Oxford around 3.30pm and they'd run out of sandwiches.
I went downstairs to the food hall and they were frantically reducing them as the lunch trade had been and gone. I asked why they didn't transfer their sandwiches to the canteen for a teatime shift instead of reducing them and the look I got was like I'd just come up with a genius business plan.

Generally speak out ...I am older than most of the politicians telling me how I should live my life. I OUTRANK them. They are MY representatives.


That's one of those moments when you start to stray outside politics and it just becomes mulch on the news.
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BrimirOffline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 11:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

Had a very abusive father, between the ages of 7 and 8 I was seriously ill, which is when he quieted down, and then it got worse again when I was better, then my only real form of support, my granddad, died a few years later, and my Mum got up the courage to file for divorce.

For me, that taught me that the only real person I can 100% rely on is myself, but if needed, it's okay to ask others for help.
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SwiftyOffline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 13:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I think your Dad and my Dad should go bowling."

John Bender - The Breakfast Club
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 17:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

jimv1 wrote:
Duplicate post.

Sort it out FT.


Well, that escalated quickly! Laughing
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stunevilleOffline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 19:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

jimv1 wrote:
Duplicate post.

Sort it out FT.

tugs forelock

Right you are, squire.

There.

You're quite right about actually saying something when you get bad goods or services. I was a very British, smile-and-nod, don't make a fuss type until we lived in the USA and I learnt the value of assertive politeness. Now if I've paid for something and it isn't what I expected I'll say so and, crucially, what I expect to be done about it - nicely, courteously, but with the bonus of being big and scary looking Wink. 99% of the time, esp these days, customer service will bend over backwards to sort it. Bad publicity travels much faster now than it did twenty years ago.
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 19:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

I started complaining/taking shoddy goods back when I was a teenager, after reading how to do it in newspapers and magazines. Consumers' rights were a big new thing at the time and I was amazed to find how easy it was to get things put right. Very Happy

My family were both interested and embarrassed by my ability to get rubbishy goods replaced and would quietly ask me to take things back for them.

At the same time, they'd criticise me among themselves for what they thought must be rudeness and aggression - how else could I get a result, time after time?

This was from when I was 16 or so, with nothing more than an ability to quote the Sale Of Goods Acts.

God, I must've been a terrifying adolescent. Shocked
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Spudrick68Online
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 21:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife is very good at it, but I'm not. Somewhere in Soho in London we had a Chinese meal. When the bill arrived it included a percentage for service, which you are not legally obliged to pay. my wife politely told the waitress that we were not prepared to pay that amount for service. We would pay the bill and leave a tip that we deem appropriate. The waitress glared at us but knew that she could not do anything.
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RosebudsOffline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 21:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is my kind of thread!

There is an interesting theme developing here, so many fortean types of people I have met through the years have had a miserable childhood/early life, among other things, that I have often wondered if it somehow opens the door to an unusual perspective.

Years ago I saw an interview with writer Edna O'Brien during which she remarked that her father had been quite cruel but she felt that creativity sprang from an initial wound (she was quoting someone but I have forgotten who) and she was glad that his bad behaviour had released her talent.


Last edited by Rosebuds on 26-07-2014 21:57; edited 1 time in total
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escargot1Offline
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PostPosted: 26-07-2014 21:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

How gracious of her. Cool

I was a bit dragged up, not brought up as they say round'ere, and by the end of his life my father had alienated so many people that nobody could be arsed to even visit him in hospital. Sad

Me though, I went a lot, having coincidentally taken all my year's hollies at once in case I lost them, and we had many lovely hours together.

The self-taught assertiveness came in useful too.
Had several memorable rows about his treatment, won them all. Twisted Evil
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CochiseOffline
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PostPosted: 27-07-2014 09:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had really nice parents. But unfortunately I was often hospitalised because of health problems.

One moment I do remember as a revelation was when my father used to visit me in hospital. Usually I was cheerful and he wouldn't say much and I didn't need him to, I was just happy to see him.

On one particular occasion I was very down and he really didn't say anything for the whole hour. After he left I initially was very upset and felt he didn't care, he was just visiting because he 'had to' - I was about 11 and in an adult ward because the children's unit didn't deal with my problem and very lonely. Then I suddenly realised - he didn't know what to say. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was that he simply didn't know how to help. That's when I realised that adults are fallible. Up until then I'd assumed any mistake was mine.

A second revelation - about 14 (3rd year of senior school) I suddenly realised that although my parents treated me as if I was ill, I wasn't ill. I had a handicap that wasn't going to go away or get better and there was no point in worrying about it or trying to fix it. I could treat it as a big problem or ignore it, the choice was mine. Coincidence or not , that's when I started fighting back - I've been doing it ever since Smile. It was helped by the fact that soon after I had a growth spurt and went from the smallest boy in the class to one of the tallest.
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jimv1Offline
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PostPosted: 27-07-2014 23:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

stuneville wrote:
jimv1 wrote:
Duplicate post.

Sort it out FT.

tugs forelock

Right you are, squire.

There.



And good service deserves a big thank you for prompt action.

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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jimv1Offline
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PostPosted: 27-07-2014 23:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sure there is a particular point where the world suddenly swivels and you crack open a new insight.......which could be good or bad, of course.

I haven't had some of the experiences some of you had here but I do remember experiencing what I can only describe as Astral Projection as kid and can't help but feel that to be forced to remember the Battle of Hastings happened in 1066 pushed it out somehow.

Rather than faith schools, wouldn't it be better to have lessons that cater for left/right brain?


I love the TAO and the idea that stuff just comes down the line and it's how we interpret it and shape it that's crucial. For example. I could win 7.5m on the lottery.
I could use that to help charities and friends and family ...or I could end up with a load of shit cars in a garage, a prostitution, drug problem or bankruptcy, leaving me worse off than when I started. To me ...things that happen are events that are neutral and it's the interpretation of them that forges your spirit.

Shakespeare picked up on this when he said 'There's nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so'.
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