During a New Year’s Eve party in 1969, two lesbian lovers discover a Hollywood A-list actor trying to rape a young fan. One of them kills him and both of them drive into the desert. After their car crashes, the girls are turned into vampires by God (played by supermodel Angela Lindvall), waking up in 2009 to exterminate evil by sucking the blood of any wrongdoers. Although the delirious concept could have resulted in much fun, Life Blood never develops its camp potential and opts for the dull middle-ground. Zero plot development, minimal action, a terrible script and the torpid comedic delivery of girl-band-singers-turned-actresses Sophie Monk and Anya Lahiri doom this from the start. It seems that writer-director Ron Carlson was aiming to introduce a Thelma and Louise element to lesbian vampirism, but the leads are merely pretty; and, because of the shallowness of characters and plot, Life Blood doesn’t add anything to the existing archetypes – unless we count a female God wearing bright red lipstick.
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