Boner. OK, Hot Boner. Still with me? Massive Johnson.
Right, if you’re still reading then there’s a chance you won’t be too offended by the gushing fountain of dick jokes contained in this game. Then again, that still leaves the sex and horror to put you off… or turn you on.
Spawned from the seriously twisted minds of Suda 51 (Killer 7, No More Heroes) and Shinji Mikami (creator of Resident Evil) comes Shadows of the Damned. An arcade style, third person shooter with grindhouse pretensions, outrageous characters, threadbare plot and the lofty aim of stuffing in more penis puns than ever before heard in game or film.
You play Garcia ‘F-ing’ Hotspur, demon hunter – and the game begins with you diving, quite literally, into hell. As you would when a nine-foot-tall demon with penis envy has abducted your girlfriend, Pamela; you must travel to his castle beyond the demon city to rescue her. This, really, is the plot (and the plot of Labyrinth, for that matter). Keeping close to its grindhouse aspirations, the story is complemented by a cast of crazy characters, including your talking gun, or ‘Johnson’ as he’s named in the game. Think of a phallic-shaped transforming pistol with a talking skull at the tip and the voice of C3PO, and you’ll have some idea what to expect. He is your only companion and sole weapon on this hellish rescue quest, and dispenses game hints, demonological tips and one-liners.
Shadows of the Damned is a very linear third person shooter of tight corridors and rare moments of exploration that are always rewarded – there’s no back tracking, à la Resident Evil. The game’s visual style is that of a great, gothic nightmare, and it’s full of varied encounters. Each demon type requires a different takedown, and some can only be dispatched once you have banished a health-sapping mist that infects the area. Unlike too many recent games, I found most of the boss fights here to be a good challenge and distinctly memorable. They can range from frenetic chases through underworld markets to facing off against towering giants. Combat, with its various button combinations, can get quite hectic.
Fans of the Silent Hill games may find the music sounds pleasantly familiar. It’s from the same composer, Akira Yamaoka. Having now joined Grasshopper Studios, his talent for haunting, unsettling tunes can be heard throughout the levels. However, he shies away from the touching melodies and industrial tracks of the Silent Hill series in favour of more atmospheric and occasionally quirky pieces here. Look out for the all-encompassing hellish cacophony of noise during action scenes if you’re playing in 5.1 Surround!
The all-too-familiar purple-black tones and metallic sheen of the Unreal Engine lend themselves well to the world of demons, but you’ll find a limited colour palette through most of the levels. Character models look great, although there must be some very sick minds in the art department judging from the visceral torture that Paula endures in the cut scenes.It’s a freaky, impressively gory, disgustingly crude and pretty puerile title that surely didn’t have to be so linear – although it clearly delivers the experience its makers intended. If you’ve played Resident Evil, you’ll recognise some of the game mechanics and quirky controls. Bolt on some Evil Dead and Ghostbusters references and you have a bonkers (did I mention the 2D paper cut-out side-scrolling shootem-up levels?) fest that’s buckets of fun to play. So, to sum up: an occasionally hard title of a good size, and one that will hopefully penetrate an audience segment that’s ready for Garcia and his Johnson… Enough now!
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