Saints Row The Third

Xbox 360, PS3 £49.99, PC £39.99, Volition/THQ

Saints alive! It’s barking mad! Before leavingStilwater, setting for the game’s two previous outings, an every-which-waycrazy bank raid erupts and the Saints – now celebrities – find themselves beingasked for autographs amidst hails of gunfire and while downing helicoptergunships; this intro packs more action than some games muster in theirentirety.

There follows some barmycharacter-customisation: has sporting a bunny suit always been your fancy? Whois anyone else to judge? From then on, the water is anything but still. Once inthe city of Steelport, you romp around a psychopath’s sandbox trying to conquerthe gangland competition and earning dosh and ‘Respect’ RPG upgrades by as manyfairly foul means as possible.

What is there to say about a gamewhich defies all that’s sane and holy and will have your partner or parentsgazing horrified over your havoc-wreaking shoulder?